Maintaining Positive Relationships

positive relationships

Roy and I have been married for 15 years and together a few more than that. I’m very lucky in that I didn’t just marry the man I love, I married my best friend. We have people ask us (we’re both very soppy when it comes to each other) how we’ve kept our marriage going so well so here are some things for anyone to consider. We’re not marriage guidance counsellors but these are good all-rounders for working on positive relationships, be this a partnership, marriage or friendship.

Spend Some Quality Time Together

Make sure you spend regular, quality time together. Get away from social media, the TV, and technology, and focus on one another for a while. You could go on weekends away, one date night per week or fortnight, or even plan regular vacations. Just bear in mind that one break every so often is unlikely to be enough to bring you and your partner closer together if you’re not spending enough time together during the week. We have busy weeks, children and all sorts going on but still make time to have date nights, even if they are in the house! It’s all about making time in your busy life to build and enjoy positive relationships.

Reconnect With Yourself

Work on finding your own passions and hobbies, spending time with family and friends, and enjoying yourself. When you’re in a better place personally and mentally, you stand to make your relationship far better with your partner, with family and with friends. Self care is important! When you and your partner aren’t happy in yourselves, it’s going to be virtually impossible to be happy with one another.

Be Creative In Showing Your Love

Find new and exciting ways to show your love to one another. Be creative, whether it’s writing one another love letters, making fancy dinners, or dressing up just to spend time with them. Show them that you still care in different ways and it’ll bring some novelty into your relationship – something all relationships need to stay fresh. For example, we don’t do Valentine’s Day, it just isn’t our thing but we surprise each other with daft and funny things at random times. These make us laugh and create shared positive memories.

Deal With Intimacy Issues

Thankfully this isn’t something we’ve ever had a problem with, but in the spirit of producing a well-rounded blog post with tips for all, it’s worth including. Intimacy is another important key to any relationship and feeling close to your partner. Work on ways you can be more intimate with one another, whether that’s saying how you really feel, or working on ways you can become more intimate in the bedroom. If you’re having problems in that regard, you could look at some treatment options for impotence, or something more suited to your problem. 

Bond Over Common Hobbies And Interests

Couples find that they bond more effectively over common hobbies and interests. If you both love art, go to galleries together. If you love thrifting, head to markets. If you love food, just try out new places to eat! There are probably all kinds of things you can do to bring you together and feel closer than ever before. For Roy and I, it is Dungeons and Dragons, shared geekery and more. It’s the same with our friendships, we all have things in common such as hobbies and interests.

Practice Communicating for Positive Relationships

Poor communication is one of the most common reasons that a relationship breaks down. I have seen real-world examples of this time and time again. Be it a married or a friendship, it’s important to be able to communicate openly and honestly.

Live In The Moment

Rather than living in the past or worrying about the future, try to live in the moment. Have more fun together spontaneously, and really make the most of your time together. There’s nothing worse than spending time with somebody who’s mind just isn’t there! After completing a mindfulness diploma last year I’ve found living in the moment fun and getting the most out of my time with people I have positive relationships with also easier!

 

Positive relationships make for a happier life, they really do. Surrounding yourself with people who understand you, who you understand, who are on the same wavelength and have shared interests is what makes for fun times, great memories and support for each other when needed. Make sure that you take time to nurture the important relationships in your life.

Finding Friendships

friendships

A lot of us take friendship for granted. Some of us might have had a group of friends at school that we keep in touch with or might have met new yet equally valuable friends as adults. Friendships don’t come easily to everyone though. Workmates and school playground acquaintances aren’t necessarily friends as such, although may be pleasant enough to spend time with. How do you meet new people and forge friendships as adults though?

Life is busy. There’s work, juggling the demands of family and everyday chores and obligations, all of which leave very little time for you to court friendships. There are a number of ways to meet new people and garner new friendships though if you’re willing to try something new.

Book Clubs

Please don’t think that book clubs are for the elderly or the boring, far from it. If you have a passion for reading and lively debate you might be surprised to find that your local book club is full of members of all ages, genders and interests. If the reviews of the movie The Book Club are anything to go by I’d say that joining a book club could be an excellent idea.

Singles Cruise Holidays

We’re not talking raunchy here, we’re talking about specialist cruise ship holidays designed with encouraging new friendships in mind. Who knows? You could go on a single’s cruise holiday and meet your new best friend.

Be a Volunteer & Forge New Friendships

Volunteering is a worthwhile pastime in many ways. Not only are you supporting a valuable charity or organisation in need, you are putting yourself in a position to meet new people. For example, our local library is volunteer-run entirely and requires over 40 volunteers to take short shifts over the course of a week in order to keep it open. With times to suit you, a volunteer position like this could be great in terms of not taking up too much of your time yet opening you up to the possibility of forging new relationships.

Exercise

As someone who couldn’t run if her bum was on fire, I’m not suggesting that you suddenly take on weekly Park Runs. Exercise is however great for your health and with so many different ways to exercise open to you it can be a great way to meet new like-minded people. Join a local rambling or walking group, go to yoga class, dance if that’s your thing, there’s no wrong way to exercise and they all offer you the opportunity to encounter new people.

In Summary

You now have a few ideas about where to meet new people to consider. Now think about any blocks that may be stopping you from accessing them. A lack of self-confidence can make it hard to approach new people and while that’s a blog post for another day, identifying such activities and giving them a go is a brilliant first step.

Good luck!

 

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