funny Archives - Page 5 of 10

Dear Self.
You remembered the cakes for the bake sale, the animal board game homework, 50p for Sports Relief, money for the Easter lunch next week, packed lunches, drinks, bags etc AND got to school on time.
It is a damn shame you didn’t realise you were wearing odd boots until you were half way home.
Her who actually finds this quite amusing.

Dear people who make underhand sarcastic comments.
Stop.
You are making a fool of yourself.
I am so much better at them than you, so much so that you haven’t realised I’m doing it.
Have you?
Love her who knows you are having to think back very carefully on recent conversations.

Dear School.
Today: Bake sale (to give cakes in and attend after school), Easter egg tombola (donate an egg and attend and spend), 50p for Sports Relief and sportswear, Easter lunch money, Phonics lesson (for parents!) at 2.30pm, homemade animal board-game to hand in….
Seriously?
I can’t remember which boot goes with which, this list is asking for trouble on one day.

Dear little sister
Thank you for bringing round the gorgeous buns for Kieran’s class bake sale.
I have of course passed them off as my own to the school though did tell some Mums they were yours.
Well I meant to say but I might have forgotten.
I can’t remember.
Anyway – thanks for the buns you may or may not have made for my son’s bake sale.
Love your ever grateful big sister x

Dear illnesses.
PISS OFF!
Kieran has had severe catarrh for week resulting in sudden onset high temps, headaches and neck pain, I have severe tonsillitis resulting in not being able to eat and feeling shocking, Roy has a nasty bug resulting in him only drinking for 36hrs and looking shocking.
Taylor isn’t ill *touch wood* but all this has resulted in him being mightily annoyed at how miserable the rest of us are.
Time to move on,
Thanks.

Dear Kieran.
Stepping away from my slightly bad mood self, Daddy and I are SO proud of you.
Your parent’s evening report was really good and we are thrilled with the little man you are becoming.
We love you (and so does Taylor).
Love Mummy x

Dear Readers,
It amazes me that you keep coming back. As always if there is something you’d love to see on C&C (and the answer to the person who previously emailed asking for elephant p0rn is a resounding no!) drop me an email via the contact box.
Have a good weekend all!
Nicki x


photo by Jill	via PhotoRee

I’ve never really done the whole keeping a diary thing. I did try when I was much younger but my little sister and I got the same diary for Christmas with the same key and well, it ended badly. Soon everyone knew that I LURVED the boy in my class more than chips or even Wagon Wheels. Kids can be cruel!

Anyway, because I am up ridiculously early as usual, want to blog and can’t think of anything interesting I am going to write a diary for the last week.

Dear Diary (snort!)
It’s been a long time since I wrote to you, blame you know who.
Anyway, last week was a very odd week.
First of all my long awaited chocolate brown suite arrived… in boxes with assembly instructions. Yes really. In truth I should have just given up on the week there and then. Being the independent and strong woman I am, I panicked, got my neighbour to come and have a look and then threw the instructions at Roy when he returned and made him sort it because “I just caaaaan’t!”.
I turns out it was just the feet that needed attaching but that’s not the point, who sends a new suite IN A BOX?

Ikea delivered my furniture order though and that was just box upon box of shiny loveliness. Fortunately for my bank balance there isn’t an Ikea I can get to so I am limited to what I can buy online. The whole point and click aspect of internet shopping is just asking for trouble if you ask me. I really do think I need another Trofast unit to go under the stairs…

Friday was fun! I woke up, stood up and fell down. I stood up again, walked forward hit the door frame and fell down again. Fun times! After a while I gave up onthis game because no-one should have to endure the room spinning thing without having had the benefit of getting pie-eyed first so I just moved on to throwing up. Nice! Fortunately Roy was off work so took over the school run and everything while I lay bleating on the new sofa, stroking it’s brown loveliness and calling out pitifully for water. Good times.

By Friday afternoon I actually felt much better. Roy encouraged me to go for a shower (I think the smell was starting to get a little too much) and I felt great when I came down. Then the phone rang, I was Kieran’s school, could I pick him up early as he was unwell. When I got there he was on the carpet in the middle of the floor, covered in a blanket and fast asleep. Poor lamb! All weekend he suffered with severe headaches and high temps on and off. I suspect it was his way of fighting off the bug I obviously couln’t.

On Sunday we were all shattered so it was a PJ day. Kieran spent most of the time building with Lego. He built our house, a garden and even included a while picket fence. Ok he forgot the door but he is 5yr old, I’m more impressed with the fence! I got told to go away for a while so that Roy and co could do some secret stuff (it’s not that secret, they were buying my Mother’s Day present from the UNICEF inspired gifts page. I have no idea what it is they’ve bought in my name but I’m very excited about all of this!).

All said and done it’s been a mixed week but we’ve come out of it ok and with shiny new furniture.
You can’t ask for better than that really can you?

Love
Nicki x

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Showing all posts tagged funny

Dear So and So: elephant p0rn, odd boots, cakes and more

Dear Diary (snort!)