CURLY AND CANDID

Dear Santa

I know I’m a bit early this year but I appreciate how busy you get so thought I’d give you a head start on this one.

It’s my arse you see. I’ve lost a fair bit of weight since the beginning of the year and am much happier. Unfortunately my boobs and bum just seem to have got bigger. People tell me they are more “prominent” because of the weight loss but I know better.

In your many years on earth you will no doubt have seen many things and am sure you will agree with me when I say, gravity can be a bitch. Any chance of a magical lift?

Love Her-who-promises-NOT-to-leave-you-one-of-her-own-mince-pies-this-year-and-go-to-M&S-instead

*****

Dear Self

A dirty orange sofa, with goose feather cushions. WHAT exactly were you thinking. Win the lottery immediately and replace the 3 seater & chair with something muted and classy. That is not orange.

Her who walks around the living room with her eyes closed.

****

Dear DVD remote.

Your cousins, Sky remote and TV remote stay where we leave them. Always. As a result we dust them down, change their batteries regularly and stop the baby chewing on them. If you want to be treated with the same respect, stop hiding! It’s not funny, and it’s not clever!

Me x

*****

Dear Washing Machine

You are crap. Half of your programmes no longer work and those that do I’m not convinced about. Don’t sit there looking smug, I am going to replace you before long and then you are going to the big old scrap heap in the sky.

Her who covets a shiny washer that isn’t work-shy x

******

Dear Clothing companies.

I am a lovely person. I have lost a fair bit of weight. Santa is (hopefully) taking care of the lack of pertness around my rear end but I am left with a serious problem. I have no clothes. I am shortly going to be doing the school run naked, which is illegal (and wrong) and I’m too pretty to go to prison. Which one of you wants to sponsor me a new kickarse wardrobe?

Her who doesn’t look good naked!

*****

Dear Domestic Goddess within

Have the weekend off, you deserve it.

Love, The Lazy Cow on the Outside

*******

Dear Kitty and Louis (Xfactor).

What in the name of all things musical?? I am watching you, not to improve your ratings but so I can stalk you properly and kick your backside if you make me cringe once more!

Just saying x

*****

Dear Readers

Spread the Curly & Candid love. I’m sure there are many people out there who would benefit from my sparkling wit (sarcasm) and humour (piss-taking). Share the love and point them this way. I love meeting new fans, they make me feel shiny and special.

As always, thanks for reading!!

Me who loves you all and honestly didn’t write these whilst drinking gin (ahem).

I don’t know how she does it! By Allison Pearson.

I have veered away from any interviews with SJP or reviews of the film. I gather that some people thought it was a bit OTT and not a great or even accurate picture of a working mother. I on the other hand thoroughly enjoyed the book. The great thing about reading over films is that you perceive things more individually, you picture the characters, the expressions, the places and the feelings differently.

Kate Reddy, who is a mother of two small children, who finds herself jetting around the world for work, constantly rearranging lunch with her best friend because she is so busy, loving her job although spending more time than enough feeling the need to prove herself as a professional still despite the fact that she has to do pelvic floor muscles.

Kate loves her work, doesn’t feel that she is someone or even herself if not working yet hurts terribly when she sees that her nanny knows more about the kids than she does. Some parts of the books are quite amusing and had me nodding in sympathy or running off to add things to my own ongoing to-do lists like Kate does. Other parts made me feel rather sad.

This book is a blown up / exaggerated version of many women’s lives. Not many of us are jest setting around the world, screaming at our husband because we feel so guilty, missing birth parties and having our breasts oggled because we are seen as Mumsy types in the workplace, but many do feel the pinch of the juggle between life and work and feel the guilt.

I work from home full-time and I struggle sometimes with the juggling act, I imagine parents working outside the home feel much the same at times. Do you?

This is a book that I think you have to read and decide about yourself. I’d definitely say book before movie (I always do!), because I really believe that’s the best way to explore a story. If you’ve read it, tell me what you think.

I don’t know how she does it is published by Vintage Books, has a RRP of £7.99 and is available at all good bookshop and also on Amazon (£4.99 at the time of publishing this post).