The Key to Good Parenting- Where Is It?

I was a cute child wasn’t I hehe
I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that I am one of six children (it’s something I am very proud of!) and we are all very close still despite having grown up, married, got jobs, had kids etc. I can honestly say we were very lucky in that we had a loving and stable upbringing and as a result I think we all have all grown up quite sensible, levelheaded (for the mainpart lol) and all enjoy a good laugh and cherish family. Well done Mum & Dad! Seriously though, I do cherish my childhood memories and wouldn’t change them for anything.

As a Mum now (of nearly 2 boys!), looking back to growing up isn’t just about nostalgia, but there is also a sense of wonderment. Seriously – six of us, how did we not send our parents up the wall? (Ok I’m sure we had our moments, particularly throughout our tender teenage years), but we didn’t ever get into big trouble, all did pretty well in school, all have decent jobs we enjoy, and all treat others with respect and fairness.

So…. how do do it? If I raise Kieran and No2 as well as my folks raised us I will be one very proud Mum, and I know Roy feels the same. I can’t remember my Mum ever running around the house, looking like she wanted to kill someone after one of her darlings thought they’d make soup and mix expensive face cream and antidandruff shampoo together, don’t remember Dad with steam almost literally coming out of his ears having found a beautiful biro drawing on the wallpaper behind one of our armchairs, and I can’t imagine Mum slumping into a chair at the end of the day, shaking her head and wondering whether or not she was doing this all “right”.
I believe a lot of it is generational. Don’t get me wrong, Kieran doesn’t run wild, we have a structured home routine-wise, promote independance, good manners, and the other core values we were raised with, we support his educational needs but all look to make sure he gets enough creativity and fun thrown into the mixture. He is turning out ok, but booooooy can it be knackering… and this is just one child! Copying the model set by my Mum and Dad -imagination is behind a lot of Kieran’s play, he doesn’t watch loads of tv, doesn’t have his own computer/console/set of gadgets, but gets plenty of fresh air, is booted outside when weather permits and dirty, muddy play is fine by me. I think I’m doing it right, pretty convinced that he’ll turn out much like our lot did, but how do you KNOW?

So rather than trying to unravel the wonder that is my fab up-bringing where everything just seemed to fall into place and work fantastically, I ask you…. is traditional parenting the key to raising a child? By this I mean encouraging values, making sure the kids understand the importance of earning what they have (even at 4yrs Kieran has his own set of chores etc and gets “treats” only when these are all achieved). What do you think? Is it how we parent? Is how our kids turn out as adults genetic? Are there environmental factors that determine the type of person they will be, or is it just “them” and predetermined?

A bit of a heavy one for me, which smacks a little of the Nature vs Nuture debate but I’d love to hear your views! I do worry how what I do now will affect Kieran and Bubs 2 later and suspect there isn’t a magical formula really but would love to hear other people’s take on all this?
Oh and seriously…. Mum & Dad….how? Six of us!? You really are both truly amazing 🙂

Planned CSection, steroids for 38wk delivery & confusion

It doesn’t take me much nowadays to get confused, seriously!

As many of you will know Baby 2 will be arriving on the 23rd (home straight!) by Csection. At last! I feel like I’ve been pregnant forever this time, with more ups and down than a rollercoaster but I know every minute will have been worth it once he is here safe & sound.

The drama this week has been due to the fact that I am being admitted for steroids prior to my section. And until today…. I’m ashamed to admit- I didn’t know why! Basically we had to fight to get our date for CSection and were told that as standard procedure I would be admitted the week before (37wks) for steroids. End of. And I didn’t question it. We took the long awaited, finally confirmed date for CSection and ran, and it has only been in the last few days that I’ve actually sat back and thought “hang on a minute….!?”.

I did some research myself and there were references to women being given steroids at 34wks, 36wks etc but none for a later csection of 38wks (which is what I will be). So no idea why ie for what reason and certainly nothing to back up steroids at this late stage. I did find one NHS pamphlet published online about planned csections that stated:

Will a planned Caesarean cause any problems for
the baby?
Most Caesareans are advised because the risks of a normal
birth would be greater to you or your baby. Planning the timing of
your Caesarean is important, not only for you but also your baby. If
your birth is recommended before 36 weeks, steroid injections will be
offered to you to help your baby’s lungs to develop. Steroids are not
usually given after 36 weeks and therefore a planned Caesarean is
recommended at or after 39 weeks where possible.

So it is definitely not common it appears to “have” to have steroids for a 38wk-er so I knew I had to question this. As it turns out, as my consultant told me today, after getting very huffy with me about having told me this once (which she hadn’t and I told her that – though doing so in front of her student, my diabetic consultant and diabetic nurse was possibly a bit ooops), a baby born by csection prior to 39wks (hospital have insisted on 38wks max due to my having gestational diabetes) is more likely to have TTN, or Transient Tachypnea of the Newborn which is basically respitory distress. This risk is higher if the mother suffers from diabetes/ gestational diabetes and I have GD so fair enough.

Knowing this NOW makes much more sense and I will be admitted tomorrow to get this sorted and hopefully *touch wood* will be back home sometime later on Thursday. THEN it’s the countdown to d-day (or b-day!) for baby 2 on Tues 23rd!

I’m not a medical professional but this is my understanding from what I’ve been told today – hopefully it makes sense to someone else, as I was flummoxed that no-one else seemed to be able to identify with why I needed steroids at this stage, despite earlier csections being quite common. Even the maternity nurses and ultrasound staff (I asked everyone) couldn’t understand it, but there you are.

Just goes to show, you need to make sure when you speak to your consultant that you question, question, question, and make sure you understand everything before you leave the appointment. I wish I had and saved all the uncertainty!

PS – Isn’t it going to seem very quiet without me for a day or two, wonder if they have wifi in the hospital? Lol!
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