The Lady Garden


photo by baboonâ„¢ via PhotoRee

Apologies in advance to any gardening enthusiasts who have have happened upon this post looking for hints and tips on sprucing their garden up. This IS about bush trimming but is probably not what you are looking for.

The trimming of the bush!

It’s the beginning of a new year and many of us have decided to ditch the crap and lose weight, becoming healthier as we go. After reading a post by Liz Jarvis about wanting to ditch the bigger knickers, I vowed to ditch the M&S belly grabbers and get into smaller and more lady-like knickers. The only problem with this is… what do I do about the topiary?

I’m a Northern gal; it gets cold up in here in Yorkshire and I believe that the fuzz is there for a reason. That said, there is a difference between warm and protected and looking like there is an escaped fur-ball on the loose in your granny pants.

What IS the “best” way to sort the shrub? I vividly remember someone telling me once about their Brazilian Wax appointment (we don’t talk any more, clearly we had nothing in common), and I’m told that you can indeed shape your bush topiary-style if you wish. What do you do? I’m quite happy as an established married woman to give myself a quick short back and sides with a razor but is it enough? What if my lady garden is no longer up to spec in the design department? Should I be shaping, tweezing, waxing and buffing?

More to the point, how does one know what is fashionable? I am not going to Google “how to shave my Mary” because I am pretty sure my laptop will explode. I have never seen a tweet that reads, “Hey guys, my bush is overgrown, what do I do?” so I’m guessing that is not the done thing to do either. I know, I’ll do a post about it, that’s nice and discreet!

So come on ladies, what is the right way to spruce the bush?