GuestPost- My Compulsive, Impulsive Oddball Child

I wasn’t sure what to expect when Diane told me the title of her guest-post! I’m glad I had no idea because I don’t think I could have imagined such a heartwarming, sympathy-invoking, giggle-starting post! This one hits all the buttons. A real issue described in a fantastically candid way. What better for a blog called Curly & Candid?!

Please take a minute to leave Diane a comment, I know she would appreciate it,

N x

Sometimes we all need an impartial, emotionally distant sounding board for nothing more than offloading – which is why I’m grateful for Nicki to allow me to chew the fat with you good folks.

I’m a Mrs. Average – a working mum with two kids, husband, non-descript freelancing career, grey roots and too many pounds on my derriere.  You wouldn’t glance twice at me in the street.

However, my youngest daughter has destroyed this anonymity.  Whenever she’s with me, in public, she draws all eyes our way.

She has chronic exhibitionism and obsessive tendencies.  If she hasn’t commanded everyone’s attention wherever we choose to go, she sees it as a failure.  Knickers?  Not for her, not in public.  She goes out with them on but doesn’t always return with them in situ.  We don’t eat out much – the sight of my daughter’s front bottom or the contents of her nose don’t tend to sit well with a three course meal.

I would never want to revisit the potty-training stage again, that’s for sure.  Her obsession at that point was, not surprisingly, poo.  She didn’t just want to feel its texture like other curious children – oh no – she wanted to either eat it or spread it all over herself like moisturiser – and always when someone came to the door.  You could guarantee once the doorbell went, it was ‘clothes off, poo on’.

The medical world wasn’t very sympathetic.  When I told them about her behaviour, they’d claim, “She’s normal and healthy – all kids do things like that”.  All kids eat dog poo, too?

At the moment she’s turned stalker.  There’s a shy boy in her class who she’s taken a shine to; (I think he’s that timid he doesn’t know how to deal with her).  She follows him constantly and bombards him with phone calls whenever I’m out of the room.  When I apologised to his mother and explained her personality she laughed.  “Oh, she’s fine – it’s cute!” she said.  Now she’s understood…it stops being cute after a few weeks.  Their phone gets left off the hook.

I’ve tried reprimanding her but she doesn’t seem to ‘hear’ me.  She doesn’t care about anything so punishing her goes unnoticed.  Naughty step – she’d sit there all night but not learn anything.  Taking toys from her doesn’t even register.  Shouting at her gives me a headache but my words fall on deaf ears.

She’s seven now and I’m used to her little ways.  I try and rein her in as much as I possible can though her teachers just tell me she’s disruptive.  (Tell me something I don’t know).  All I can say is, I’m glad she’s my second child because I definitely wouldn’t have had more, had she been the first!

Because nothing shocks me now, I try and enjoy her unique personality.  The benefits are that she knows no fear, and she could chew the fat with anyone, of any age.  She’s fantastic at drama and friends come easy to her as they think she’s brave, funny and affectionate – which she is.

And I love her to bits.

There, now I’ve sounded off.  I’m sorry if I’ve left an image with you of when she was three, naked, and covered in poo.

One definite benefit – it certainly got rid of any door-to-door salesmen!

Diane Hall is a freelance writer, writing coach/editor and proofreader; a married mother of two, therefore, a slave to three. To read more visit the blog and her website.

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