Struggling To Conceive

Struggling To Conceive

Our fertility struggles are not something I post about often. I was told it was unlikely I would be able to conceive naturally, and fertility treatments/IVF weren’t necessarily an option (it’s a postcode thing). I did manage, though it took years of trying for both our boys and the journey was not without our disappointments and heartbreaks. Struggling to conceive is a difficult time for both of you and it is ok to be disappointed, hurt and even jealous of others. It is natural. 

Struggling with conception can be a worrying time. It is worth mentioning that it is not uncommon for people to not fall pregnant immediately. We all hear stories about people who conceive in the first month of trying however it is important to remember that this is rare and not considered the norm, especially for those coming off contraceptive pills etc. Your first port of call after a year of trying or if you have worries would be your GP who can refer you to a specialist if they feel it is necessary.

If you, your partner or you both have a fertility issue, there are a range of options you could look at in order to achieve that much-awaited positive pregnancy test. 

Struggling to Conceive? Consider Your Physical Health

Of course, it would be just plain wrong to suggest that living healthily will instantly solve your problems, but sometimes, it can have a big effect, to the point where it’s worth trying. Get more exercise, more sleep, and eat a highly nutritious diet. There might be a chance that with this effort your chances of fertility could rise. However, over-exercise and being underweight has also been associated (but not fully linked) with lower fertility rates, so be sure you’re remaining careful and truly health-focused in your efforts.

Visit A Fertility Clinic

A fertility clinic directory should help you find the best treatment or assessment to help you figure out your next step. Not only will they take into account your physical requirements, but also your emotional and spiritual needs as a couple. They will be able to analyse your personal situation and offer advice based on your individual needs. Speak to your GP about taking this next step, if it is appropriate to you.

Consider Every Option

IVF treatment, adoption, surrogacy and a range of other potential options are all worth considering. Don’t dismiss these options immediately. It might not seem that these are an ideal solution for you but do the research anyway. Who knows where your fertility journey will take you?

Take Care of Each Other

Your physical health when trying to conceive is important, as is your mental health. Struggling to conceive can cause enormous strain. I, for example, always struggled with guilt. I have the fertility issues and therefore always felt bad for being the “problem”.

It’s not always easy for the men on our lives either. Support often seems to be geared more towards the women (in our experience) however if there are two of you struggling to conceive and both wanting to have a child, two of you feel the same disappointments.  Make sure you are there for each other and look at ways to stay mentally healthy as well as physically. Counselling can go a long way towards helping with this aspect of struggling to conceive.


Wherever you are on your journey I wish you all the very best. I’ve not got any “off-the-shelf” platitudes because I’m pretty sure you’ve heard them all before. Be kind to yourselves and keep on asking questions and researching your options.

New Baby Arrival: Getting Ready

New Baby Arrival: Getting Ready

First of all, no, Roy and I are NOT expecting a new baby. This is one of those useful guides for readers things, not anything to do with expanding our awesome foursome family. For those of you who are expecting, these tips might help.

Set Your New Baby Budget

Babies need things but their actual needs are quite simple. How fancy a new nursery will be, how large their first year wardrobe and what pram/pushchair they travel in will be will depend on your budget. Before you go ahead with planning out the nursery and everything you want in it, you really do need to get your money in order. It is a good idea to make a budget so that you can figure out exactly how much cash you are going to have. 

Baby Kit

Make a list of what your baby will need for those first weeks and months. It may seem overwhelming, the amount of things you need to buy for your baby’s arrival but once you’ve broken it down it seem easier to manage. Once you have the essentials, i.e clothes, wipes, a cot and even nappies too then you can start saving or thinking about luxury nursery furniture and fancy pushchairs. Get the must-haves before the really wants,

Birth Plan

Believe it or not, writing down your birth plan can be a huge help. It can also help you to get the best experience out of your whole pregnancy. It is important to write down the pain relief you are going to opt for when you do give birth and any other possibilities that may be available. One of the best pieces of advice I can give you as a mother of two is to be prepared to be flexible though. You don’t know how you will feel on the day so don’t feel that you can’t change your mind.

Your Hospital Bag

Babies do have a habit of not arriving when they are meant to. This is why you should have a hospital bag which is ready to go a few weeks before you are actually due. Your other half may also want to pack their own hospital supplies as well. This is in case you end up staying in hospital longer than you anticipate, and your other half wants to stay in the room with you. Another top tip? Alongside very comfy PJs and big knickers for your maternity pads (it’s all very glamorous) pack food. Seriously, I cannot stress this strongly enough. Labour and birth is exhausting. New babies are exhausting. It can be hard work and unlike your other half or birth partner, who can go and get a big beef curry from the canteen, you will be stuck on the ward for the majority so be prepared.

New Baby Car Seat

If you have a vehicle then you need to have a car seat that is properly fitted. This will give you the chance to take your bundle of joy home right from the hospital. You need to take the time to find the right model, style and even design that you are happy with. There are so many options out there for you to choose from and again, you may find this overwhelming but when you put everything into categories you will soon find something that you are comfortable with. It will also make it much easier for you to feel better about the big day as well. If you need some help with choosing one, then there are plenty of support guides on the internet. Don’t buy second-hand though as unless you are 100% sure it hasn’t been in an accident, even a little something minor, you can’t be sure of how safe it is.

Gosh, sharing these top tips is bringing everything back. I should re-write my birth stories I think, they make for good/amusing reading. 🙂


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