Those who enjoyed my Lady Garden post might find this edition interesting.
Yesterday was my smear test. For me having the actual test doesn’t cause me any concern. After having two children despite struggling with fertility issues I’m not convinced that there isn’t a health provider left in North Yorkshire that hasn’t seen my lady parts. No, for me the smear test provides a different concern…. what to do about the winter growler?
Now, obviously, I had to do something as I couldn’t turn up un-trimmed. Really there should be an option to go and have a “Smear Test Tidy” the same way that you can go for a Brazilian wax or similar. That way there would be no confusion over what is the best style to go for. After agonising over the dilemma I went for “clean and tidy”. Going for a respectable style is the best way I feel when it comes to these things. Who knew that a simple but essential medical test could cause such topiary tension?
My advice is that the best style of front garden fashioning for appointments such a these has to be a style you are comfortable with. Do not, however, do what I did. I spent so much time making sure my lady bits were presentable and my pedicure up to spec that I forgot to shave my legs. Yeti doesn’t come close… oh the shame! I’m concerned that I will have to turn up fully vajazzled next time to make up for this faux pas!
The Smear Test: On a More Serious Note
Hopefully, this will make you laugh but also remind you that joking aside, cervical testing is important. I wrote this post purely to grab people’s attention so that I could remind them to call their health centre and get booked in. Find out more here and if you are due, make that appointment. My last smear test, as they’re known, took minutes and to be honest was over before I knew it had begun. Those few minutes are well worth the peace of mind of knowing I was all clear, just as they would have been if something had been found so that treatment could be arranged.
Oh, and just to add, medical staff will tell you that if they’ve seen one, they’ve seen them all so seriously, don’t go getting yourself buffed for the smear test appointment. The chances are they won’t even notice. The practical part of your appointment is over in minutes at most. You’ll spend more of your time folding your jeans and pants up carefully.