Getting Taylor.

Taylor is now 5 months old, happy, healthy and adored by all, not least Kieran, his doting big brother. I haven’t realy done his birth story though, I was too busy with the “Look at my new baby” work I just had to do!

When I had Kieran, I had a straightforward –ish pregnancy, ok there were the piles, the varicose veins, the all-encompassing heartburn, but I was lucky! Kieran came a week early and it was a very positive labour. The whole labour was just under 2.5hrs, in fact and I didn’t have any pain relief (the barstewards took the G&A off me – read more about the whole experience here!). I now realise how lucky I was.

Taylor’s journey was somewhat different. I’ve touched on the fact that I have fertility problems a few times but have never really gone into it, and won’t today. Other than to say we had given up hope of another baby when we found out I was pregnant. We were thrilled. And I was terrified. Despite all the trying and a miscarriage before we got pregnant with Kieran, it was a fairly laid back time. From day one with Taylor. I just couldn’t relax. I was convinced we’d have another loss, though there was no reason why I should, I fell twice, had almost crippling pain in my legs due to really bad varicose veins, pelvic pain, had a tiny bleed which turned out to be something or nothing and at 30weeks was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. This was picked up when they did a routine check and as I’d been feeling fine, I was shocked! What did this mean?

What happened next was a flurry of appointments and scan, medicines, then insulin injections as my levels were sky high. I don’t drive and my local hospital is nine miles away. From 31wks I was going to the hospital twice a week for scans, consult appointments, to adjust my insulin at the diabetic clinic. A pain in the arse when you consider that I was doing the school run, getting a bus to hospital, appointments, waiting for the bus again, journey home, school pick up… I was shattered.

Due to the GD I was told I couldn’t go over 38 weeks so would be induced. I was told induction may take several tries, may not be successful straight away, baby may get distressed, due to the possible large size of the baby, forceps may be needed, baby might need to go into SCBU (the floor BELOW the maternity ward) as it was possible my high levels would have affected his insulin production… It just went on and on. Due to all of this and other things that were going on with the pregnancy we eventually decided on an elective csection (bear in mind we’d planned a home waterbirth so this wasn’t an easy decision!).

 

A brave pic to post!

By the time d-day came I was ready. I was tired. I wanted to have my new baby here, I needed to see he was ok. I needed to be a proper Mummy to Kieran again.

The CSection itself was very straight forward. I had to be admitted for 8am, to go on a drip to sort the insulin etc. It was late afternoon before I walked down to the theatre. The spinal block was the weirdest experience ever. The worst bit was the anesthetist pressing against my spine before putting the needle in (which I didn’t feel). Before I knew it I was laid down, Roy beside me, waiting for the off. A head popped over the partition to tell me they’d made the first incision. Had they? Wow! Didn’t feel a thing yet could feel people brushing past my skin?! Then he was here. 7lb 10oz of perfect baby boy, not a large baby, no problems with his blood sugars, it was over.

Here at last

THANK GAWD

Or not. Back on the ward my face started to itch. I was told this was a common side-effect of the spinal. The itch moved down and as the epidural wore off it became an all encompassing itch which was not an itch, it was painful, so painful! I’d had a severe reaction to the diamorphine in the spinal – I hadn’t had surgery or real treatment before so had no idea. It was awful. For the first 24hrs I could barely hold Taylor or feed him as I was literally jerking about. I really can’t explain it how bad it was. After a cocktail of drugs to help I’d get 30-45  mins respite before it restarted, then would have to wait 4hrs+ for the next dose. It was a full 36hrs before it really started to abate. The staff were great, I had Taylor with me attached to the side of the bed and they were so helpful while keeping me as involved as possible. I can’t thank them enough for that.

At last I could get myself cleaned up, start to be Mum, go home and be a family. A very long pregnancy and not the birth I had planned but worth it for what I have now. A perfect family of four. I can’t see us having more children now, partly because of the horrific pregnancy and GD, partly because I just don’t think I can go down that long road of struggling to get pregnant again, but also because I think I’m done. I think two is enough. We are content.

Not my usually light hearted post, but one I wanted to write. Thanks for reading x

Don’t rain on my (baby) parade!

I’m most pleased to have this guest piece to post, written by Donna from over at MummyCentral. This post has had me alternating between smirks and knowing smiles,and annoyance coupled with the urge to check my FB friend’s and delete anyone who posts only animal pics. Makes no sense? It soon will! To read more about Donna, check out her Bio at the end of the post!

When we decided to have kids, the conversation between me and hubby went something like this:

Me: Do you want children?
Him: Dunno. Do you want them?
Me: Let’s have one and see how we get on
Him: Yep, sounds like a plan

We were as far away as you could get from those people whose lifelong ambition is to be a parent.

If anything, we envied those who were sure – either way.
For us, it was more like dipping a toe in the water to see if we liked the temperature.
I won’t say parenthood hasn’t been tough. But the water must have been pleasant, because we decided to jump right in and have a second baby a few years later.
We’re now madly in love with our boys. Having them was the best decision we ever made.
But we understand family life isn’t for everyone – and God knows it can be tiring and hard work.

So I’ve found myself bewildered, since returning to work part-time, at the attitude of some colleagues without offspring.
Some don’t want them, some are planning to have them in the next couple of years. Some aren’t sure.
But they have been extremely vocal in their lambasting (if that’s the right term) of parents.
The general comments have been things like:
“God I hate parents who post pictures of their kids on Facebook. How soppy.”
“All they can talk about is nappies and weaning. I mean, get a life!”
“Why should they get better parking spaces? Bloody cheek.”
Are these people threatened? Or do they protest too much?
It’s as if they’re worried I’m going to recruit them into some terrible cult – while proudly showing off pictures of my placenta.
Meanwhile, a pregnant colleague sitting opposite me doesn’t dare mention her impending arrival, until this cynical lot goes out to lunch.
Then she proudly brings out her scan pictures, asks me what steriliser I’d recommend, and discusses her favourite baby names.
The thing is, we sit silently while our colleagues gush about their wedding plans, describe their diets and everything they’ve eaten that day, or talk in gushing terms about their beloved dogs (who they post pictures of on Facebook).
So why are we shamed, feeling somehow guilty, at the occasional comment about our kids?
All I can think is that having babies really is an emotional issue. Some people can’t have them. Some are afraid of how much they might change their lives.
Some decide not to have them – then feel guilty or judged by society.

Speaking for myself, I can only hold up my hands and say: “No judgement”.

And I would guess a lot of frazzled parents are the same.
We love our kids dearly, but can imagine a life without them – having lots of freedom, holidays, spare cash, etc.
It’s just that we chose to forego those pleasures for our own unique experience.

So why can’t we celebrate that experience, without eye-rolling or mocking from those who chose a different path?

I don’t spend my days shouting:

“I hate dog owners who let their mutts poop on my lawn.”

“Bloody bridezillas. There’s more to life than a three-tiered cake.”

“I don’t care how many calories are in your sandwich. Eat it and shut up!”

I understand different things are important to different people.

So what if a mother wants to gush about her babies, or even get out her photos and show them off? Why not let her?

And like I said to the last office cynic who tutted that he couldn’t stand children.

“Count yourself lucky your parents didn’t feel the same!”.

Donna White is co-creator of Mummy Central and a work-at-home mum of two boys, aged two and five. She has been a journalist for almost 20 years, and at the height of her career she flew into Afghanistan with Tony Blair. She now spends her days wiping snot and listening to The Wiggles! catch up with her over at the MummyCentral Facebook Page or on Twitter.