If We Got Married Again

Roy and I are coming up to our fourteenth wedding anniversary. FOURTEEN YEARS! Our wedding was lovely, magical and has provided us with so many memories.

We talk sometimes about renewing our vows and Roy especially wants to whisk me off somewhere sunny to do it (probably for our twentieth). We also talk about how we would get married if we could choose again. We’re not saying that we didn’t love our wedding as it was however if we were to get married today we’d do things differently. For example:

The Photographer
Our wedding photos aren’t very good. We hired a budget photographer, didn’t do enough research and felt the guy who took our photos didn’t actually listen to what we wanted on the day. They aren’t awful, they just aren’t very good and as such, they are in an album in a cupboard somewhere. We don’t have a decent bride and groom photo we could put up on the wall. We’d definitely do better with this next time.

We married here in Thirsk, our home and the place we love. We married in the gorgeous local church. It’s hard to imagine marrying anywhere different to this and it was so right for us at the time, however, we have joked about eloping and a few of our family have gone off and got married by themselves and it seems very romantic, and a lot simpler!

We had a lovely “proper” dinner when we were married, a carvery type thing and it was great. When my sister was married years later she had a barbeque. With hindsight, I think that would be great, or a pizza and pasta type of thing. I love pasta. Yes, definitely pasta.

We didn’t have a theme as such but boy would be if we were to get married again now. Even then we wanted a fantasy-style wedding but it never really came off. Think Dungeons&Dragons, meets elves, meets more dragons and you’ll be close. I think I would make an awesome elven princess.

As before, our official photos weren’t brilliant although there were some fun snaps taken by other people. We’d definitely veer more towards this sort of thing the second time around. I love the idea of an open photo booth (rather than trying to squeeze people into a box) and being able to laugh at and share funny and awesome photos after the fact.

Our flowers were absolutely gorgeous on the day and worked perfectly with our colour scheme. If we were to get married again we’d love the same lady to do our flowers. We’d maybe choose different flowers though, to fit into our fantasy theme.

We went to the most amazing place for our honeymoon, Findhorn in North Scotland. You really have to know the place to really appreciate it. I lived nearby as a young child and going back and sharing it with Roy was amazing. He loves the place. I think this time, however, we’d skip the romantic horse riding lesson which resulted in an allergic reaction that had me looking like the elephant man and in A&E at one point.
Yup, we’d miss that out.

Your wedding day is just one day however it should be a great day, a fun day, a memorable day and should be how you want it to be.
Would you change anything about your wedding day?

Don’t Criticise My Parenting Choices! I Won’t Apologise!

On a Sunday I usually post a SilentSunday picture. Just a photo, no words, that sums up my week. I haven’t taken anything suitable this week so I thought I share an old post with you instead (written March 2010 but still very valid for many!).

One of the biggest lessons I’ve found since becoming a Mum is that suddenly everyone is an expert and so keen to criticise your parenting choices! This saddens me more than you know.

I am a bottle-feeder, I haven’t fed on demand, I put my two boys into their own cots in their own rooms from day one, I don’t attend Baby Massage and I weaned my eldest at 3.5months (& it wasn’t baby-led weaning either!). I decided to go back to work full-time (therefore abandoning my child), but changed my mind and stayed at home instead (avoiding the opportunity to instil a firm work ethic into my child).


We were told that we may not ever be able to conceive after a diagnosis of PCOS but we don’t like being told what we can or can’t do. Early in 2005 we fell pregnant but it wasn’t to be. We were devastated to say the least. When I fell pregnant again later that year I daren’t breathe for the first 4 months but after that we settled into thinking about motherhood and how we wanted to raise our child/ren. We decided that we wanted to bottle feed. I wanted Roy (the long-suffering husband) to have as much to do with the feeding process as possible, the idea of expressing horrified me (if anyone even glanced at my chest during pregnancy the “girls” started to throb), and to be honest, it just didn’t appeal to me. Perhaps it’s the control freak in me but I like knowing how many ounces have been taken.

Well… I would have got a less fierce/shocked/disappointed response to “I’m a heroin addict and sell myself at the weekend to fund my habit” than the reaction to “I’ve decided to bottle-feed” from some quarters! And some of these people were “friends”! Don’t I know breast is best? Of course I do, and don’t get me wrong I think breastfeeding is the most beautiful and nurturing thing going – it just wasn’t for me.

Putting the boys into their own rooms… when Kieran was born, this was more of a room issue than anything else but as we were adjoining and in a bungalow, it was never an issue as he was only a few feet away. When Taylor was born, we had moved but the room is still next door – and again, he has settled fantastically from day one. In fact both boys slept through from an early age, Kieran at 3.5wks and Taylor at 7wks (and no, this was not why I chose to bottle-fed etc, I have found myself explaining again and again).

Both boys are thriving. The Health Visitor told me at 5 months that Kieran was perfect, “absolutely thriving” were her words, and asked if I’d thought about weaning yet. When I explained this started at 3.5months she chuckled and said “Well, I can’t say a thing to that can I? He was clearly ready!” And he was. Taylor, is (gulp) nearly 16 weeks and nowhere near ready for weaning, each to their own.

Throughout Kieran’s early days I got plenty of comments about my choices, and would back away, find myself making excuses or mumbling but those days have passed. I have two happy & healthy boys. I am confident that the choices I have made have been the right ones for us, and I won’t apologise for them. Most Mums have been subjected to criticism at some point or other (for those of you with babies only – just wait until your toddler has their first meltdown in Tescos! EVERYONE has a comment for you then lol) and I don’t think that will ever change really. My message to you all is to stick to your guns (assuming your parenting style does not involve ritual beatings) and don’t get caught up in it all. Celebrate your family and enjoy every minute of them, they grow so quickly!