Dear So and So: The “Nicki is off on one” edition.

Dear Yorkshire Water.
Seriously?
You send us a letter saying our new water rates from April are slightly higher.
Ok, I can go with that though the tight cow in me is gritting her teeth.
THEN I wake up, yet again to no water!
I rang your customer services who said “we think  there is a burst pipe somewhere but haven’t found it yet”.
Really?
As a consequence the school has had to make the decision to close and although I now have water again (at last), I have extra children who have lost another day’s schooling.
We are not amused!

*****

Dear People who email me and refer to me as:
Curly&Candid
Mummy Blogger (urgh!)
Mummy (slightly creepy)
Nicholas (ok you are just taking the piss)
My name is Nicki, not Nickee, Nikki, Noo Noo or anything else.
If you pitch something and start with the correct name there is a chance I’ll keep reading.
Her who doesn’t think checking details should be overlooked.

*****

Dear People who email me to say my blog is perfect for:
Dog biscuits (I don’t have a dog)
Car care products (I don’t drive)
Items that fit people who are the the size of one of my legs (really?)
Have a quick look at the blog from time to time.
Thanks.

*****

Dear people who don’t scoop the poop.
There is a special (and rather stinky) place in hell for you.
Her who is training her kids to yell “LOOK MUMMY, THAT GROWN UP DIDN’T PICK UP THEIR DOGS POO!”.

*****

Dear 5yr old,
Please don’t chew the end of your school pencil and swallow a bit.
I got a call from the school to tell me you were ok but to inform me of what had happened.
1) This could have hurt you
2) When I see the school number on caller ID I panic
3) The conversation with the school manager (who was secretary when I was at school there!) went badly as I accidentally let slip that I am a pen chewer and somehow I now feel very naughty!
Love Mummy who doesn’t want you to chew anything but your food.

Have a good weekend all!

Dear So and So...

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5 comments

  1. Blimey what a week eh! Glad you’ve got water back on and you did make me really laugh-I used to chew pencils and never did me any harm. Any day now, normality will resume!

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