Charming things your kids say to you.

You know when you wake up feeling bloated and horrible and your child tells you that you are the prettiest Mummy in the whole wide world? Yes well, that didn’t happen this morning.

Last night wasn’t a great night. I went to Slimming World and weighed in 1lb heavier than last week. The annoying thing was I knew exactly where it has come from and had no-one to blame but myself! I’d been really good all last week with great meals and snacks but ended up working late most evenings so that I could have a fairly work-free week this week with both kids at home. Unfortunately late night working and snacking go hand in hand with me hence the 1lb gain.

Anyway, I woke up feeling rubbish but determined to have a better week and enjoy my time with the kids.

And then my five year old pitches up……

Mummy, you know the Tyrannasaurus Rex?

Yes dear?

What did it look like?

Urm, excuse me?

You know, was he as big as a house? Was he MASSIVE??

I don’t know love, go and get your dinosaur book and we’ll see what it says“.

But didn’t you see one when you were in the olden days?

HUGE FACE CREAM FAIL!

It’s ok though, I’m not upset with him. It’s not his fault that I started the day feeling fat and horrible and now feel fat, horrible and jurassic.

And of course, I will remove his favourite Lego from it’s hiding space at some point today 🙂

On the upside I am “nearly” as pretty as his favourite teacher. It’s a good job I have a good sense of humour and actually find all of this funny!

Have a great day all and remember, you are never as old as your children think you are.

 

Dear So and So – Friday 13th Edition

Dear Friday the 13th

I’m not superstitious, and I am confident that today’s date isn’t unlucky.

Do you know why?

Because I didn’t break anything when I slipped down the stairs this morning.

How lucky was THAT!

Love her with a sore behind x

****

Dear Kieran

I love you son but opening my eyes in the middle of the night to find you stood over the bed, half awake, half asleep yourself and waiting patiently for me to wake up so you can ask for a drink…. that’s a no-no.

Much as I love you, that is just freaky!

Love Mummy x

*****

Dear nasty bugs and coughs.

It appears you like my home at the moment. I can see why, we are a friendly bunch.

I’m afraid I must insist however that you PISS OFF already!

Her who hates seeing her fellas poorly.

PS I do however appreciate that you’ve spared me, good move, thanks!

*****

Dear School.

Please track down the little boy who in the last week has told Kieran that

1) When Taylor was born he fell out of my bottom

2) That when he fell out he was covered in poo

And give him a gold star – I have had LOADS of fun referring the associated questions on to Daddy.

*****

Dear Slow Cooker

How I love you. I pop you on after school run and then let you simmer away beautifully. You and I are having good times at the moment, experimenting with healthy recipes.

If you could just work out how to self clean I would probably divorce Roy and marry you.

Love her who loves her slow cooker x

*****

Dear One Born Every Minute fans.

I’m a OBEM virgin. I’ve never dared watch it because I know I will spend the whole thing blubbing however…. the births of my two were sospecial, one “normally” (if there is such a thing) and one c-section. Am I missing out?

What do people think, advise me! Is it THAT good?

Her who is conflicted.

Dear So and So...