The Perfect Parent Night In

Twas the night after a work day, when all through the house,
No children are stirring, not even for snacks
Mummy is tired, Daddy is zonked,
Which means it is time to put their fab onesies on.

When I was young I thought I knew what tired meant. Oh boy, was I deluded! Fast forward many a few years later and I am a mother of two children, run my own business full time (from home), help with school trips/escort duty, shop, cook, clean, pay bills etc. Roy isn’t any less busy. His work day often starts at 7am (sometimes earlier) and may finish at any time. Then he likes to spend time with the boys, help with house stuff… you get it, we’re busy.

This kind of non-stop action is great in a Marvel film however when your parenting superpowers are starting to fade at the end of the evening you need some proper chilling out time to recuperate.

The Essentials

Food
Food is fuel. While I would happily flop in front of the TV with a takeaway this gets expensive and isn’t the healthiest option. The slow cooker is my friend. We tend to eat all together as a family but sometimes having a meal for just us, and one I haven’t just been slaving over, is a win.

Comfort
Oh boy, let me tell you. There is nothing, and I mean nothing more fabulous than ditching the jeans and socks, flinging off my bra and slipping into something comfortable. We’ve been married nearly fourteen years now and again, have children. My slipping into something “comfortable” no longer means something silky. It means a giant, fluffy, warm and comfortable panda onesie or similar.
For true glass of wine/cup of proper coffee in hand, TV watching, snuggled up chilling without the kids, proper attire is a must.

Seriously, I need to get us a couple of these! They have pockets FOR SNACKS and everything!

Entertainment
Once the boys are in bed our energy levels start to wane a little. We don’t want to do anything particularly energetic however we want to do something rather than fall into bed at 7.30pm (sometimes we are tired enough to fall into bed at 7.30pm). We watch TV (things we’ve saved up/recorded to watch together), he might play on the Xbox while I piddle about beside him on the tablet, he might do some of his crafty stuff, I might make a new piece of jewellery. 

 

Top Tips for A Perfect Parent Night In

Nothing is going to spoil your zen-like feeling of complete relaxation quicker than interlopers. You know the sort, small, cute-looking and very demanding? You need to pre-empt their disruption attacks by being proactive.

For example:

  • Water/juice in a sports bottle (age appropriate) may be left outside bedroom doors to quench the inevitable “I’m thirstyyyyy” calls.
  • Before bed make sure each child eats something you call the bedtime snack and make sure they know that this food is special and magical and will fill their tummy all night and that they can’t possibly have anything else.
  • Spray water around the bedroom from a bottle with a label that reads “monster and nightmare spray”. You are dealing with bad dreams and monsters in advance. It works, trust us.
  • Older kids can be threatened with wi-fi/digital time withdrawal if they come downstairs after a certain time (highly effective).
  • Leave a pencil and paper outside children’s room so that thing they HAVE to tell you can be written down and you will see it when you come up to bed.Job’s a good ‘un!

What’s your idea of a perfectly relaxing evening in?

International Women’s Day: Working Life Challenges

 

It’s 2017 and thankfully (!) women are now allowed to continue working outside of the home after they are married. We are also allowed to vote, choose our own clothes and more. I’m not being flip, only a few decades ago women had far fewer choices, particular regarding their careers after they were married or had children.

While there is still evidence of gender inequality (the gender pay gap being one issue often seen in the media at the moment) the overall gap career-wise between men and women has become less pronounced. That said, content marketing agency Axonn Media recently completed a survey involving parents and how they felt about the professional challenges they faced.

Given that today (8th March 2017) is International Women’s Day it seems as good a time as any to look at the pressure of parents in work post-parenthood and in particular the difference between mothers and fathers.

Axonn Media surveyed 108 parents on their working life and it seems that being a mum still presents greater professional challenges than being a Dad, even in 2017. The Gender in Marketing 2017 report found that of the parents surveyed, 62% of mums felt that becoming a parent had hindered in some way they career/career progression, as opposed to 24% of the fathers surveyed who felt the same way.

Despite this survey being relatively small, it gives an indication of how parents may feel overall in the UK. Despite it being 2017 and both legislation and the proven effectiveness of flexible working being well known, mothers seem to feel that overall there are more obstacles at work for a working mother than a working father.

What concerns me is that there are any obstacles at all! People become parents every minute and yet some employers are still not capitalising on flexible working. Of the many factors which parents felt made career maintenance and progression difficult the following came out as the top three:

  • Work-related travel and meeting (55%)
  • Working hours (48%)
  • Lack of employer flexibility (34%)

Have a look at the handy infographic below for a breakdown of Axonn’s findings.

Do these statistics and this research align itself with what you’ve experienced personally? That men and women in 2017 are finding parenthood to have a detrimental effect on their careers, regardless of the male/female ratio, is outstanding (in my eyes). 

I struggle to comment on this from a personal point of view as I gave up my previous thriving career when my eldest son was born to become self-employed and work from home, mainly for the flexibility benefits that going freelance offers but also because I felt my focus had altered and I was ready to move in another direction.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this.