Our guest-poster today is Venita Dada of Funkolution, and I’ll let her introduce herself….
“I’m a Dutch way-too-busy-but-but-can’t-sit-still mum to 2, wife of 1, director of Funkolution Ltd and founder of I am MUM & so much more, living in the UK. I love my children, husband and life, along with all the unexpected surprises (at least when the surprises are pleasant). I strongly believe that the uniqueness of any person or business is his/her or its strongest quality. I will admit to getting a bit crazy when I thinks control is beyond reach”.
You can visit Venita on her website, find her on Facebook and on Twitter
Today I spoke to one of my friends in Holland. She falls in the category of the first time mum, who wants to get everything right the first time. She has a collection of books about motherhood that would make the local library jealous. She went on about how tired she is, and wondered if that was normal, how she is debating to give up breastfeeding and just generally worrying if she did OK at being mum.
She has made a selection of organic foods to serve to her little girl and is adamant to stick to her “routine” every day with milli second precision, all in an attempt to be the best MUM ever to her little girl.
She wonders constantly what she needs in order to do the right thing for her child, without realising that the past six months have flown by and she mostly has been busy just worrying about the things any new mum would worry about.
Being a mum of two I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that motherhood is a journey of trial and error, and that no book can prepare you for how your life will be as the mum of your own child or children.
Not getting everything right the first time around is OK.
As long as you don’t make life-threatening mistakes it really is OK. Actually it is the only way to learn to be mum to your own children. Somebody once told me that the only way to be the best mum to your children is to be a happy and relaxed mother.
So I shared this wisdom with her, and although I believed every word I heard myself say to her, in reality I often find myself wondering if the choices I am making for my children are the right ones. To be quite honest, I am stressed on a regular basis and critical towards my own mothering skills. But then, who will judge if I am the best mum for my own?When I really think about it the only answer is: my children, when they are all grown up. And then maybe only at that time with children of their own. Then they will be the only people in this world who can actually judge my parenting skills and hopefully allow me to pass the grand exam of mumhood!
Mumhood is scary and all mums set high expectations for themselves. Often going through the daily motions of life, we forget how important it is to enjoy being mum. To forget about what we expect from the mum in ourselves, just for a bit, and look back on our own childhoods, and remember how we loved our mums cuddling us or playing with us, just having fun with us.
My baby girl turned two last week and I look at her with happiness for the gorgeous girl she is, but I must admit that those baby years flew by, and that makes me feel a bit sad at the same time.
I made the commitment to myself to enjoy more and worry less (at least as little as possible being the control freak I am), because 30 years from now I want to look at my children and know that – although they will have flown past and I did my share of worrying – I enjoyed my children, shared lots of special moments and created loads of nice memories for us to look back on.
So to all mums, especially the new mums, I would like to say, worry less (I know this is easier said than done), have more fun and only let your children be the judge of you as mum.
Just take some time, every once in while, to really enjoy being mum.