Yesterday was my first born son’s seventh birthday. SEVENTH!
If I hadn’t been there at the birth I would be demanding a recount right now.
Kieran came into the world in a dramatic and amusing way and has carried on to develop into a funny, clever and caring young man.
For your amusement here is my version of Kieran’s birth story, first written shortly after he was born. How things have changed since then!
July 1st 06, 5.40am I got up, went to the loo and my waters broke with a bang! I was instantly on the floor with a massive contraction. Obviously something was wrong, it must have been… I was a week early- that couldn’t be right? And besides, my contractions were in my back? I crawled to the phone- they asked me to come in as my contractions were exactly nothing apart- just constant. Picture me, curly hair everywhere flying wildly dragging huge labour bag to the door whilst screaming “owww owww owww MOVE IT” to the poor husband! I rang Mum from the car (on all fours!) to tell her it was burning and to hurry and get to the hospital!
We got to the hospital (thank goodness for clear roads) and no joke I was running down the corridor dragging bag one of useless rubbish, hubby to the rear with another bag with baby stuff. We walked (hop, skip, jumped) into the labour room for a preliminary exam, I whipped my trousers and pants off and leant over the bed.
Midwife: Um what are you doing Dear?”
Me: I’m PUSHING!
Midwife, Oh bless (pats my hand- which she was lucky stayed intact), I take it this is your first? You said on the phone baby wasn’t engaged yesterday- shall we have a look?
Me: GRUNT
Midwife: OH! Ok, I can see the head- um can we get another midwife in and get Mrs C settled?
Me: EPIDURALLLLL
Midwife: Sorry sweetheart- no chance – would you like some gas and air?
Me: NOW!
You can see how labour turned a usually shy and retiring girl into a raving lunatic in a pretty short space of time! Not sure that was in the NHS guide?!
The labour went on pretty quick after that. Mum got there fairly quick, they took the Gas and Air off me “Mrs C, you are pushing with your throat dear”. Have to disagree with that one, my throat didn’t hurt at all lol! The team were actually fantastic and despite the fact the midwife who started off with me had finished her shift during the first half an hour, she stayed with me, with the other midwife. An hour in someone found my birth plan (like I cared lol!) which said no students- one student was present throughout and she was absolutely fabulous. On reading the birth plan, I was asked if I wanted her to leave, poor girl nearly lost her arm when I grabbed it and said “Noooo she’s loooovely!”.
The only time I really snapped was when my midwife said “One more pushhhh”, I pushed, “That it, one more push” I pushed, “One more push hun”. “ONE PLUS ONE PLUS ONE IS THREE, NOT ONE!!!”. Bad Nicki!
At 8.05am Kieran was born, 7lb 13oz. And for any first timers- the pain does just stop. I consider this a very positive birth story. I tore very badly and had to be stitched (by a MAN < seriously, you just don’t care!), and was a little disturbed when they gave me the gas and air BACK for stitches having taken it off me for labour! That first cuddle was amazing, and I was SO tired but didn’t care! Mum cut Kieran’s cord as we’d planned and my fantastic husband did exactly what I need him to do, stood nearby, made slightly encouraging noises, and allowed me to glare at him with murder in my eyes every so often! My one worry was that my placenta didn’t want to come out despite the injection and they were considering rolling me through to theatre. There was NO way they were putting me out etc after a natural birth lol, so they gave me a bed pan, catheterised me (just in and out to get rid of any wee build up!), I jumped up and down on the bed pan and placenta (intact), shot out!
Don’t mess with me, I’m a Mum now don’t you know!
Happy birthday Kieran – I will have so much fun sharing this with you on your 18th 🙂
