4.50am I wake up and am expelled from my bed. I can’t sleep back 5am, I’ve not managed it once in years. I’ve no idea why but have given up trying to convince myself I can stay in bed any longer.
5am – First Earl Grey of the morning (milk not lemon in case you were wondering).
5.10am Make packed lunches. This is the time I realise I didn’t empty Kieran’s box on Friday. There are no words to describe the stench. I clean his box, twice and made the lunches up. Roy didn’t have quiche this morning because I dropped the quiche dish on my foot and the quiche I lovingly prepared the night before has ended up between my toes. On the upside, the dish didn’t break, just half the bones in my foot.
6.30am By now I have made the pack-ups, have everything set-up / laid out and organised. Have done a load of emails and bits and pieces I needed to do, done any dishes, put a load of washing in and squeezed in another brew. Kieran comes down at 6.35am and asks for breakfast, Kieran goes back upstairs to tidy his room first.
7.15am Everyone is fed and Kieran is in the shower. Roy is sorting the last few bits and pieces he needs for work. Taylor has nearly finished his bottle.
7.30am – Kieran is dried and running in and out of his room naked showing me his lego creations while I frantically look for the last pack of baby wipes.
7.45am – Kiss husband goodbye, but fresh and clean baby in the cot to play, threaten Kieran with terrible things if he doesn’t get dressed NOW and jump in the shower. When in the shower I cut my leg shaving, get shampoo in my eyes and realise I left the towels in the bedroom. After a quick shake off I run full pelt for the bedroom, stepping on a Lego creation on the way.
8am. Kieran asked “Mummy, why is it you haven’t you got a winkle again?”. I must remember to take the towels into the bedroom. I cleverly deflect the question by asking him nicely to GET DRESSED!
8.05am I get my jumper out of the wardrobe, go to put in on and a bloody great hairy spider jumps out of the sleeve. Seriously- it was HUGE! I squealed and Kieran came running through…
“What’s wrong Mummy?”
“Urm, I stood on something and it made me jump“. I don’t want him to start being frightened of spiders!
“Oh, so you weren’t screaming at the big spider that just ran into Taylor’s room?“.
Ok then. I capture the Beast which will stay under that beaker until Roy gets home. Attempt two at putting the jumper on…. spider 2 falls out. What the….??? Luckily no 2 is dead, probably scared to death by the menance that is The Beast.
8.30am, Everyone is dressed, Lego is away. Kieran has his shoes on and as I pick Taylor up and give him a hug I realise he needs changing again. Argh!
8.40am. We are all ready, we are organised, we fly out of the house and get to school just as they are opening the doors.
9.15am I have been to Tesco, I am now home and have put the shopping away.
I look down….
I have a huge smear of baby poo on my jeans from bum change 2 or possibly 3.
Ahh, must be Monday morning!