Dear So & So

Dear Ebay Twonk
You have mistyped your mobile number and I am getting calls about the scooter I have for sale.
Some call twice to prove that THEY didn’t dial incorrectly the first time (thoughtful of them).
Please remedy immediately because if I have to repeat “Yes I’m sure I don’t have a scooter for sale” one more time I may forget that I am a lady.
Regards Her who is trying to work and is fed up of answering questions about a scooter (Dammit!).

Dear Shoppers (and C64 fans)
10 Print “Being first to the reduced counter does not make everything yours”
20 Goto 10 PRINT
Love the inner geek who will not be thwarted at the reduced to clear section.

Dear Self This house is not going to pack itself.
“I’m watching old episodes of Dallas”
“I think I have a splinter” and
“It is bad luck to pack prior to the week before moving” are NOT valid excuses to leave everything to the last minute.
Love, her who really does enjoy packing, deep, deep, deep down inside.

Dear Boy
If I did bare my chest at you when you tooted your horn, stuck your head out of the window and yelled.. “Show me your tits!”, well you would be rendered blind so be thankful I just ignored you.
PS I’m pretty sure your Mum drops your youngest sibling at the same school my son goes to.
I really must pop and say hello to her.

Dear Scales
Reading “Error” every time I step on even though I have replaced your batteries is not funny and is not clever.
Just so you know.
Her who ate all the pies, cakes,biscuits, crisps, bread rolls, yogurts…….. Dear Readers Have a great weekend and try and stay out of trouble! Love her who will be watching Dallas with a splinter in her finger 🙂