“You’ll need to have a driving licence when you have the baby you know!”
I remember being told this when I was pregnant with Kieran. Yes folks, I am a non-driver. I always meant to learn and probably could have afforded it when I was 17, despite Roy & I getting our first house together then. It just didn’t seem a priority then, and as time went on, bills went up and spare time grew shorter. So here I am, a mum of two who doesn’t drive. Goodness, how do I cope?! Some people are aghast that I’ve never learned to drive. I did take lessons when Kieran was younger but then Christmas came along and I vowed to pick them up again.. but didn’t! Besides, I love walking and fresh air certainly hasn’t done the kids any harm so far!
“How do you manage” is the common question. Well public transport isn’t my favourite means of traveling but it’s there and it’s to be used. If you are savvy you can get about quite easily, even in a rural-ish areas such as Thirsk. I have a weekly shop delivered most weeks which is convenient and saves me a fortune (apart from my meat which I get on the market). We have a good range of independent shops in Thirsk so can get most things we need here but for bigger items and christmas shopping (etc) I do most of my shopping online and would do even if I could drive, it’s easier and cheaper for these things.
The insinuation that the kids miss out or that I must find it “difficult to cope” annoys the hell out of me to be honest. Roy drives so we do get out and about, but on a daily basis we do just fine! My Mum raised six of us without a driving licence, we didn’t miss out, and she didn’t have a breakdown as a result of it. I don’t drive because at this stage, having never had a licence, it no longer interests me. Am I bad Mum, lazy? Perhaps as some kindhearted people have hinted, I’m too used to being “looked after” by Roy (THIS DOESN’T PISS ME OFF AT ALL). Clearly it is impossible to be a strong independent person without the ability to drive?
Perhaps I should be grateful that people seem to care so much about my mobility?
Oh my goodness, I so could have written this!! I am in exactly the same position – I never learned how to drive either….and quite frankly I am getting sick of folk asking me when are you going to learn? I know it would help me be more independent – I know that there are a few things (especially living in Orkney) it would make easier BUT quite frankly as you said it needs time and money (not cheap these days!) When I have both time and money I am sure I will book lessons – until then surely I have my reasons for not learning and should not be judged for them!?
Rant over!!
You mean you don’t drive? And you live in Orkney? How do you cope?! Tsk!
*ducks*
That’s it ! Right There ! My £1000000000000000 gazillion pound money making venture – I’m going to invent you an electric powered double buggy with mummy buggy board attached !
Thank you !
LMAO! That’s a classic, pure genius and quite possibly the best blog comment I’ve ever received, to go with the weirdest look my hubby just gave me for suddenly laughing out loud 🙂
Oh, as a no-driving mum to two young children I can definitely relate to this post!
I have actually started driving lessons a couple of times, but never kept them up, due to different factors – lack of money, thenthe next time I tried I had to stop due to a broken hand and haven’t started up yet again (3yrs later! 🙂 )
I get around quite fine without driving though, you tend to walk more when a non-driver. Some drivers imo get lazy and automatically drive everywhere!
Anyway if I do need a car for hard to reach places sometimes – that’s what my husband’s for!! 🙂
I have to say I am as equally skilled in backseat driving now as I am walking – that has to count for something right? 🙂
I actually think drivers are much more lazy. Bet you and your kids actually walk places, don’t you?!!! (Oh the cruelty of it – let’s call social services).
We live a 10-minute walk from town and it would actually be better for me to get off my lardy arse and go on foot. But I use every excuse I can find to bundle the kids in the car.
Is that rain? It’s a bit chilly. They’re tired and might nod off in their car seats.
In actual fact, I’m typical of a society which is becoming reliant on our cars to get from A to B – even if B is just down the street.
Good on you girl for not driving. Who says you have to? Your kids probably aren’t as spoiled as the ones who expect to be chauffeur-driven everywhere.
Don’t get me wrong, cars are there for a reason, they are a convenience for some and a necessity for others. I just dislike the fact that I can be judged for not driving. If I had a medical condition which prohibited me, it wouldn’t be an issue but actually CHOOSING not to? Clearly I’m just plain weird :p
I have a British driving lisence and an Israeli one. However, I cannot afford to run a car. I cope, use public transport, walk a lot, get deliveries from the super etc… However, I do feel that we miss out on spontanious visits to friends in outlying areas, trips to intersting places further afield and just fitting more into a day because you don’t have to work around the buses. At least you have a driving partner for adventurous weekends.
I am very fortune that Roy drives as even public transport wouldn’t get us to the beach etc but it does for everything else, including meet-ups etc. This weekend I had a weekend in Nottingham with a friend thanks to the trains and a cheap advanced ticket!
I’m a non-driver currently learning to drive. It never bothered me not driving but I gave into it and am a learner at present. I also get sick of people looking at me in utter shock when I say that I don’t drive, so much so that unless I’m asked directly I either change the subject or subtly avoid answering.
Although I can see the advantages of driving I don’t consider myself disadvantaged, and more to the point I’m not sure how much it will change the way I go about daily life when I finally pass!!
You’ll stop swearing about uneven paths and poorly maintained cobbles and swear at the petrol prices and how much car insurance has gone up 🙂
Look luck with it – how long until you do your test?
I’m a non-driver too! I started learning when I was 17, but didn’t particularly enjoy it. When my parents were in a bad accident (they were ok eventually), I lost my nerve and gave up. When I lived in London, I used public transport and walked everywhere. And still do when I visit!
I’m amazed actually how many people are saying they don’t drive. I was sure I was the only one *paranoid*
As a Mum of 4 I haven’t got a driving licence either. I can drive but failed my test and just couldn’t be bothered to carry on with it. I live in a rural town and rarely feel the need for a car. When my kids were young we didn’t have the internet so online shopping wasn’t an option so I walked everywhere, sometimes for miles to do my weekly shop (the reason I was a size 10 back then). Hubby doesn’t drive either, its far too expensive and doesn’t fit in with our slower more frugal lifestyle x
We do have a car and going to the coast etc would be very costly if we didn’t so I’m glad we do in one sense but one thing my Dad said before we got our first car “Once you get a car, you never stop paying out” is so very true!
I’m a Mum of 3 who doesn’t drive… heavens to betsy! 😉
Clearly you are going to hell then 🙂
I don’t drive. I nannied for 4 families and managed to do school runs, activities and stuff without driving, then couldn’t afford to learn when I was a student, then got married and moved to Richmond, where to be honest the transport system is excellent. I have two kids, we get about just fine, I very rarely “need” a car, and to be honest, I don’t like driving, I can, I’ve had lessons, but the thought of being in a car, and having to worry about all the other cars, trucks, buses etc, and dealing with two children, makes me feel anxious. I’ve never missed it, and get a bit miffed when people say “you don’t drive? How do you survive?” When clearly, I’ve managed so far! Us non drivers need to start a Facebook page or something to show the world we can actually cope and we do have a life! 😉
The thing is I’m not anti-driving, it’s just not for me. I seemed to spend a long time apologising for that although I can’t for the life of me remember why now?!
I was told I’m disadvantaged as I don’t drive. I prefer the naughtybike and kiddyseat. Eventually a trailer will bE picked up. But i’m happy
I’d like a donkey – I think I could get around ok with a donkey – and they’d sort my grass too wouldn’t they? Or is that goats? *confused*.
I’m another one! And I have four children! I had lessons when I was 17 and absolutely hated it. I have always intended to give it another go but have never quite got around to it and *shock horror* I have got to the age of 34 and have four children and have survived without a driving license! I live in a lovely village where nothing is more than a short walk away and I manage just fine. My Other Half drives and it all works out fine for us. It never fails to annoy me how people are so shocked by me not driving.
It’s strange isn’t it. I actually quite like walking and the kids benefit from all the fresh air. I always said I’d do it one day but to be honest, I can’t see me bothering now.
Thought I would put a different catch on things 🙂 I was 17 when I first started driving but put it off and now at 20 I have just passed my driving test and got a car. I am 31weeks pregnant with baby 2 and having my little car has got me out the house a lot more.. I am a hermit which I am massively trying to overcome.. I wish you all the best everyone to there own and the roads are a tad scary!:D <3 x
You can tell I never got my license and had experience on the road – when Roy goes around a sharp corner etc I close my eyes. Actually it’s probably just as well I don’t drive thinking about it!
I sounds like driving has really helped you 🙂
To make you feel slightly better. I have a driving licence. Passed first time two weeks before Bex was born. She is now 12 and I have not driven for nearly 12 years.
I do regret not getting in the car and one day I will, just not today!
One of those things isn’t it!? Once you learn anything you need to use it else you start to lose it. If you did drive again would you have refresher lessons or just take it easy?
I think it would have to be refresher lessons after 12 years, very refreshing!!!
I have driven since I was 18 which, let me tell you, is a loooong time ago now! We are in a position where I have to drive everywhere if I want to keep my sanity – we’re 4 miles out of a town, and the children’s school is further than I would want to make a small child walk after a day in school, not least because it goes steeply uphill in places.
However, I’m 3rd in a family of 4 girls. I was the first to learn to drive. My younger sister learned to drive just after I did, my elder sister learned to drive in her 30s and admittedly, did find a whole new lease of life.
Still, my eldest sister never did learn to drive and neither did my mum. Personally, I love driving most of the time but I would certainly never judge anyone for their choice not to drive. If you live in a city, the chances are that having a car is quite inconvenient in terms of parking costs etc compared to the state of the public transport system. I chose to go to uni in the middle of nowhere and those who couldn’t drive found it quite inconvenient, but had I been in the middle of town, I think I would have considered leaving the car at home.
It’s the same as anything – people don’t get why you want to make a different choice to theirs. One thing is for sure – not being able to drive doesn’t make you a bad parent at all.
And on a day where my car has just cost me £200 for a new set of tyres thanks to SIX nails in three of them, you’ve probably got more spare money to spend on your kiddies. 😀
SIX nails? Who did you annoy lol! I think driving is great, it opens up so many avenues, work, travel (obviously)… I just don’t like the overwhelming opinion that there is something wrong, that the kids are missing out, that I’m scared or the big bugbear.. feel I don’t need to learn while I have Roy to chauffeur me around.
Until very recently I was a non driver too (and had the same reaction from people as you). I’m glad I’ve passed my test and can drive around, but what annoys me is when people ask why I haven’t driven somewhere – erm, because I still want to walk sometimes and get some exercise, plus it’s good for the kids too. Driving can be really scary too, people are mean on the road! This is why I’ll be keeping the P plates on for at least another 5 years 😉
I only learned last year. it is convenient but it’s expensive. i learned mainly because my husband’s family put pressure on me too and it did my head in. i use to hate people judging me because i didn’t drive!! x