After a Twitter chat with fellow pregnant lovely, it brought to mind some of the symptoms and lovely other physical and emotional trials you go through, which of course no-one sees fit to warn you of in advance!
Today’s gory rememberance involves……. a THROMBOSED PILE.
I went to the GP at 37 weeks with a thrombosed pile! Seriously, think a excrutiating third bumcheek. My GP asked me to get up on the trolley and show him. First off, I was a very heavy 37wk-er so getting up on the trolley via a stepstool was well, lets just say, it took ages! One peek and his comment was “My word, that is massive!”. My reply was “I’m assuming you mean the pile, not my rear end!“.
Cue trip to A&E, and the on-call insisted on first calling Maternity to tell them I was here and what was wrong etc before doing anything. On the phone he bellowed “Yes, Mrs Cawood, lives at ****, yes Mrs Cawood, 2 ****** Close, Yes, thrombosed piles, yes piles, very large, anal yes, Mrs Cawood…..“.
The sniggers from everyone in cubicles, was only slightly more obvious than my husband’s who was desperately trying to mask it!
Then he decided we needed a consultant to deal with the problem, so back on the phone, again very loudly “Mrs Cawood, (reeled off my address, full name, DOB), HUGE, thrombosed bile, yes Sir, too large for me to deal with, I would appreciate your input, bigger than anything I’ve seen before” (Seriously – I’m sure at this point I heard someone sobbing in glee down the corridor).
Yes, I made other people in cubicles very very happy!
On the upside once the Consultant came for his “viewing” it was dealt with very quickly and I shuffled off home able to sit straight (almost) for the first time in days. This is quite a funny account (and completely true!) but was anyone else warned about thrombosed piles at Antenatal Class? Damn sure I don’t remember if I was! I suppose between piles, cramp, indigestion and the other unmentionables that come along with pregnancy, we are best kept somewhat in the dark, otherwise no-one would dare get pregnant!!
Does anyone else have any hideous (faintly amusing) tales to share?