I am currently 24 weeks pregnant with baby 2 (due early Dec). My birth experience with Kieran (now 4yrs) wasn’t exactly what I expected! I went into labour a week early (the head wasn’t engaged the day before!) and less than 2.5hrs later, my son was born. Yup THAT quick. I have been warned that this time, being my second child, I could be looking at anything from a half-hour top to bottom birth. This idea doesn’t much excite me, especially as it is a 20minute (on a clear road) drive to the hospital, I am due in Dec (think snow and ice), I have my son to decamp elsewhere, and the hubby who works nearby occasionally drives for them too so could be bloody anywhere…
So, taking this into account you would think a homebirth, as offered, would be the sensible thing to go for. I know this – I am a practical person (I’m a Mum- I have to be lol) but oh I don’t know (whingy voice). I just have my reservations, I feel I would be less concerned about something going wrong if I was in hospital, I don’t much care for one of the local community midwives (we have two!), but then I could get anyone at the hospital! My house is small, but then the labour room isn’t huge, would I worry about the house (etc) being perfectly clean and tidy all the way up to the end of pregnancy? (so don’t need to be worrying about this although my house isn’t a tip!). I couldn’t give birth on my bed (tiny bedroom, only one side accessible lol), but if it’s that quick….!?!
I’m not sure what the exact deadline is but I’m pretty sure I need to let the midwives know soonish what I want to do (currently down for hospital). I really would love to hear other people’s thoughts/experiences – both positive and negative. I’d really love someone to say THIS is what you are going to do lol, but obviously this needs to be an informed choice I am completely comfortable with so tell me ladies (and gents too – I have my husband to think of in this too, although he will support me 100% in what I want to do).
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.
(Come December when I have a 40hr labour we’ll all laugh at this post!?
Ok, this is just my take on things 1. "if" anything was to go wrong a ambulance would get you to the hospital quicker than you could drive.2. You will be nesting at that time anyway so mess wont be a issue.3. If its gonna happen that quick then babys most prob gonna be born at home or in the car anyway.and 4. You can stipulate that you dont want that midwife.Saying that though I have never had a homebirth, Mainly because most of my labours were 18 hours + and I wanted the hard drugs – Well sometimes. The last one was 6 hours in a waterbirth with gas and air that I could just have easily done at home.
i planned a home birth cos I was scared of hospitals (and had already spend far too long in them with the IVF). I had to fight for it (their reasoning was it might be a harder birth cos it was IVF!!). They eventually agreed and so it was planned, pethidine ordered etc. Went into labour fri pm, 2 midwives arrived about hour later with G&A. Everything went great thru the night. I felt v comfy being in my own home – didnt give a monkeys that we hadnt washed up from tea!! Everything was ready – quilt on the floor, plastic sheet over the top in the living room. And then baby turned – IMMENSE pain, pethidine all been used up, G&A no good! Blue light into hospital! Morphine , epidural, spinal block and emergency C Section later (36hrs later to be exact!) and I was a mum. Was I upset it wasnt a home birth? Yes. Was I upset I had all that pain relief and major surgery? Yes. But I stayed at home for the majority of it and ended up with the most amazing daughter so it doesnt matter anymore. Be practical, do whats right for you and you will be fine. PS when hubby came home from the hosp he found midwives had washed up EVERYTHING, and put our living room and bedroom back to normal for us!!! xxx
I'm probably not a good person to ask I'm afraid. The mere mention of the word 'homebirth' makes me cringe. I mean we've got access to modern hospitals with obstetricians, anaesthesia etc. Why the hell would you risk doing it in your own living room? To me it's like saying "it's OK, I'll remove my own appendix at home with this swiss army knife and egg-whisk…" I should probably add that my first birth was an emergency c-section, my second was an elective so I'll admit to being heavily biaised towards hospitals!
This is why I'm so torn Helen! I swing from one side to the other so completely at the moment. I tore very badly with Kieran so being in hospital was great (ish), and hugely reassuring. It's the worry of being transportless, it being winter, potentially very quick…!! Oh bugger! Lol!
Hey hun. Well as you know I'm on my 4th pregnancy and I never had a home birth (I don't do mess) lol. I did contemplate it with my last but really the only thing that bothered me was omg my house would be messy and I could ruin my carpet. As you know hun I always know in the morning that i'm going to give birth that day (don't know why it's weird) so I get organised through the day and then go to hospital when I feel the need. Then we only go 1 hour 30 mins at the most from start to finish. I really think you can only decide what you want to do for yourself as everyone is different.We know live in a village in the middle of nowhere with no public transport and probably at least a half hour drive to the hospital (thank goodness we now have leather seats in the car) lol.. but I still wouldn't choose a home birth but thats only me hun, you do what you think is best… xx
I had my first at hospital. Active labour for 53 hours, he ended up inhaling meconium, 14 days in intensive care. My second I had at home, she was born in my lounge, 5 hrs after I woke up with pains. DS was still asleep upstairs when she was born. I can not recommend home births enough and don't worry about the mess. Our MWs cleaned everything up and even ran me a bath. My husband is such a home-birth bore. Anyone who is pregnant, he tries to convince them that they should have them at home 😉
Lol Shell – you were stood on my doorstep in labour, calmly telling me what you were doing with the kids etc when you went in! <My hero!Nic – two such different births! 53hrs in labour – Holy sh*t!!I can't tell you all what a help it is hearing other people's opinions.
You need to consider time taken to get your eldest to the baby sitter and then to hospital potentaly in the middle if the night . My last one by the time we got rid of the other kids and got to hospital it was only 20 mins and Jamie had arrived plus if you did have it at home and for some reason you needed hospital we are only 20 mins away or less in an ambulance although I am sure you will be fine I wanted a home birth but was nit allowed also consider support you get in hospital after the birth such as help with feeding if you choose to breast feed and also the rest you get from your two at home because it's easier said than done to sit and do nothing and leave the house work or demands if a small child good luck
Thank you Anonymous – I very much appreciate you taking the time to reply, and these are all things I will take into consideration when making "the decision". Oh the joys lol. I think having my 4yr old (luckily my nextdoor neighbour is fabulous and has said she will have him)is what is making my decision that much more difficult!Nicki x
Some peoples reactions to home birth surprise me… and I mean REALLY surprise me, to the point where I gawp at the screen, open mouthed.Particularly Helen's comment (I totally love you Helen, I might add… Please don't hate me, lol). Conception, Pregnancy, Labour & Birth are such NATURAL things. It's was what us women were created to do. Why should you NEED hospitals, consultant and anaesthetics!? Egg whisks weren't created to remove appendixes. Child birth is not a major operation. (Well… a normal vaginal delivery isn't).(Now… this is in terms of a "normal" and low-risk situation. TOTALLY understand in terms of emergency situations so please bear this in mind with my comments.)As you know, this is my fourth baby. I have never had a home birth before. At 19 weeks pregnant, I was reading a book about natural birthing, and when Chris came home from work I said "I was thinking about home birth today" thinking he'd completely be against the idea, and my thoughts would have been in vain… when he announced "I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA!"Oh… Ok…We started our hypnobirthing classes that weekend, and the first thing we done was watch a video of a hypnobirth. At home. From that moment on, I don't think Chris would have allowed me to have a hospital birth. The calming atmosphere. Really relaxing. Really natural. There was NO mess. There was NO stirrups and drugs and people telling you what to do. I wanted that, and Chris wanted that… So we're all set for our very first home birth.Now, I'm not a hippy mum… I must stress this. I am 23 years old. At 17 I was a single mum. I swear. I smoked. I do not shop in Boden. (Heck, you know I'm as far from hippyish as is humanly possible, Nikki!)… Yet I feel like my eyes have been opened up to a whole other world. I realise how natural and normal birthing is. How it doesn't have to be this big clinical situation. I have absolute faith in my body and its ability to bring a baby safely into the world, and I cannot wait for my home birth.We're looking forward to being in charge of our birth experience. We're making the rules. We'll have two midwives who only have their attention on us. No difficult ride to the hospital. No signing in at the reception. No waiting for your "assigned midwife" to come and book you in. No constant battle of "NO I DON'T WANT PETHIDINE/EPIDURAL"… and we'll get to be together for the entire experience. No visiting hours, and no Chris going home. And the kids will get to meet their new brother or sister as soon as they a) wake up b) come home from school or c) get brought back home immediately.Our house is not big. It doesn't have to be. We've actually just knocked the walls through to make it bigger, haha. We're squeezing a birth pool in though, and I hope to labour and deliver in there.Midwives are not there to look how high your dishes pile is. They don't care. However, I am already keeping the house spotless. I'm nesting! Something I've never done before. And I know that getting all clean and ready will be the perfect activity to keep me busy AND keep labour moving during the early stages.You could end up with even worse of a witch if you went into hospital to have baby! At least you'll know the midwife that will be delivering your baby. (I won't. There's TONS of community midwives here, and I'll have only met one.) And will you really care at that point?
(Ok, my comment was too long… Two parts! Wow… didn't realise I had so much to say)In terms of a gents opinion- He isn't standing around like a loose part, as is the case in hospital births. He'll get to play an active role.- He doesn't have to panic about getting you to hospital on time… or delivering baby in the lay by- He doesn't have to leave when visiting hours are up. He gets to snuggle with you and baby- He can watch the TV and have a beer if he really wants to- I'm sure theres more… but Chris is thoroughly engrossed in a film right now!I say book it in!IF you get to the day, and you decide you want to go to hospital, then go to hospital. No worries whatsoever. It's better to plan for a home birth, and then change your plans, than to not plan for a home birth, and end up delivering on the bathroom floor accidentally!
Sorry I don't have time to post in more depth, but I've written about my home birth after a similar 1st birth to yours here: http://mummywhisperer.wordpress.com/2010/02/19/arrival-of-baby-no2-a-very-different-experience/There was no mess, Daddy & son were downstairs, and I was in the lounge in a pool being helped by a doula and local midwife. You're right, it did take longer, but was great!My hubby is about to post his thoughts on it – he was VERY unkeen at first, but thought it was great after.
I have had two home births out of 4 children. I would have had three but we were renting and hubby didn't want the baby born there! I did have him though without any drugs or gas and air in hospital.You go to a hospital when you’re ill. Having a baby isn't an illness. If you are in any doubt then have a hospital birth. Don't feel pressured by the growth of home births.However I am deeply proud of having my children at home. When I had my first child in hospital. I was wired to every machine imaginable, because my contractions wouldn't start. I was told that the contractions are even more painful. I thought I was going to die. All my family sat there crying while I was strapped to a bed in agony.When I was pregnant with my second I really researched everything. Different birth philosophies etc. One thing that struck me. Having a baby is about mind, body and spirit! Don't worry I am not going deep or anything but that's how I felt. I connected with my baby and let by body relax and birth my baby. I used aromatherapy oils, meet up with independent midwives and received some training in deep breathing etc. Preparing your mind effectively for birth rather than focusing on the pain. I can't recommend having a home birth enough,especially for the fathers. One of the best experiences of my life!
Just a quick comment as my thoughts echo what has already been said! I had my first baby at home and it was fabulous – quick but I never once felt anxious. Midwife just about arrived to catch! I did have to transfer to hospital once my baby had been born as I lost more blood than normal but it really, really wasn't scary or in a panic.Number two was born in our lovely Midwife Led Unit due to the fact he was measuring large for dates – a great experience and very much home from home. I must add that our MLU is 5 mins away otherwise I would have absolutely INSISTED on a homebirth as I too was worried about delivering in the car etc. And he was faster…was in established labour for about an hour :)! I don't know about where you are but here the midwives don't ask you to make up your mind about place of birth until a few weeks before due date. And you can change your mind right up until the end. Why not book a homebirth then you can always change your mind – even as labour starts if you don't feel comfortable. I think you just need to be where you feel the safest.Good luck xx
I loathe hospital, disliked being there intensely and left as soon as I could with all three births. But sadly, home birth not an option, as apparently my body does not in fact bother with labour at all!! I have never had so much as a contraction, and after four days of induction with my first, eventually had an elective. I was in hospital for 11 whole bloody days with my first, owing to the inducation fiasco and then various feeding, vomiting and SCBU issues!! I can almost see my house from the hospital, it is very frustrating! Both the second and the third were electives – I tried so hard for a VBAC, but nothing doing, and by the third you don't get an option. I was all for lovely natural birth, water thingy, all that. But without medical intervention, who knows what would have happened, so I count my blessings, and tell my self not to be so silly when I feel very slightly cheated of labour!!I do have several friends who had home births, and both said it was absolutely fine. One of them was very like you, and had a very quick birth. And they both had their other children at home, who slept through the whole thing and were picked up the next day by grandparents to give mum a break. As you say, it's got to come down to what you feel comfortable with. And I am pretty sure, as other posters said, you can change your mind pretty late in the day. And if anything looks a problem, they will change it for you!! If you would feel more comfortable in hospital, that's the most important thing.And don't worry too much, that's my advice. All the planning in the world can't actually predict what will happen, so choose your ideal and then go with the flow. Good luck!!
Thank you all so many comments! And so useful! Hubby and I are going to have a real sit down and chat later about it all and I'm seeing the midwife next week anyway so will see what is what from their perspective (as it seems to differ in all areas!). It really has been very useful reading your experiences and thoughts – what a set of stars!!
Hi there,Like Nic I had firstborn in hospital and second, accidentally, at home. Long story, but homebirth definitely better experience but I did panic a bit as the umbilical cord was wrapped round my son's neck initially and you're meant to have two midwives with you for a home delivery. So much more relaxing to be able to sleep in my own bed, eventually, and for DS to wake up and find his brother there in the crib, with no mum away in hospital to worry him. Relaxed baby too. Hospital birth impersonal, noisy and overheated room. But go with how you feel as everyone's different and your local hospital might be great. Good luck!
I almost had my second at home (long story) but it was an amazing experience. I felt safe in my own surroundings. My sister has just given birth at home. I agree with lady above who says birth is a natural process. And it sounds like yours is likely to be straightforward (and quick). So staying put could be the best thing for you and baby. There is usually warning that something is not progressing as it should and you would be transferred to hospital. Having said that, you do have to do what you are comfortable with, because your peace of mind is paramount.My advice would be to book a home birth. Then you can always change your mind right up until the day. You can't change your mind the other way round.M2Mx
Hi, I agree with M2M. I had a home birth with my first because I don't like hospitals and was also due during the snow & worried about transport. I can tell you it was amazing & if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again I'd love another one. Supportive partner is a must but don't worry about mess or midwives. – you know what to do & if baby gets distressed an ambulance won't be far away. When baby was only a couple of hrs old we were all sat on the sofa eating Pizza & watching Eastenders – bliss! Good luck!
I also agree with Buggytug and M2M, at least give yourself the option of home birth – would have thought you were an ideal candidate. Water birth would be good – said to lessen tearing.x good luck Gabs
By the way, the egg-whisk comment was meant to be tongue-in-cheek!I know my view probably isn't very popular but there's so much encouragement to go for a homebirth that you can feel a bit of a freak for not wanting one. The hospital staff who looked after me were brilliant and my husband was fully included throughout both births. I just wanted to give an alternative (completely honest)point of view, really.
Curiously after reading your comment Helen I had the strangest dream about an egg whisk- but that's a blog-post for another day :pI appreciate your view, as I wanted opinions from both sides of the fence. I still haven't 100% made my mind up yet. I really appreciate people taking the time to share their experiences/opinions!