Dear So and So: The hormonal edition

Dear Facebook people
I have done something remarkable today.
I have un-friended or hidden from view Damn Auto Correct, Absolutely Madness and all the other similar funny apps and pages. I’m so into having a giggle but I’d lost sight of the social part of social media as far as Facebook goes.
Now I can see PEOPLE!
Her who likes to interact x


Dear the snotty teenager that called me a curly haired freak outside Tesco.
I went to school with your Mother.
Now who is laughing Mr Cool Dude with the cackling friends!
Love her who doesn’t take crap from people who can’t pull their trousers all the way up over their pants x


Dear body.
What?? Wrong time of the month, stinking cold, sore coccyx.
I’ll do you a deal, I’ll continue slimming and working out in an effort to make you look better and you reciprocate by making me feel nice. Deal?
Her who may be slightly hormonal


Dear people who continually private message me or DM asking me to promote your product, page or RT/share something important that will help your business.
Please stop.  It is akin to annoying spam.
If I DM’d you constantly and begged you to plug my copywriting services I imagine you find this annoying.
It is the same thing.
Her who is tweaking her followers and friends accordingly.


Dear Delivery Gentleman
You are too old to be playing knock and run.
Try this.
Wait thirty seconds….(1 elephant, 2elephants, 3 elephants)
Knock again
Then put the card through.
Her who is sick or rearranging deliveries.


Dear anyone else feeling hormonal &  cranky
I have to recommend Caitlin Moran’s book, How to be a woman. Bloody genius!
Just don’t read it on a packed train as people get alarmed when you have spontaneous bursts of belly laughter or mutter and snigger under your breath,

Dear So and So...

Dear So and So – The Body Edition

Dear So and So...

Dear Time Of The Month

It’s very kind of you to make sure you visit me every month, without fail. The thing is, and this is getting a bit awkward, you are kind of outstaying your welcome. 11 days a month? Really? For that length of time I’d expect someone to contribute towards the extra food that gets consumed during their stay.

You are becoming a real pain,


Her in agony!


Dear Kieran,

“Mummy, put the Jive Bunny music back on, it ‘s REALLY funny when you dance to it”

I will remember that Son,

Mummy x


Dear Teething Fairy

You were warned last week, pack the hell in tormenting my baby!

Watching you,

Her who hates her son being in pain


Dear Doctor,

Thanks for the full breast exam, I’m glad there was nothing sinister in the end. I feel much reassured

Her with the *now* very sore boobs.

PS Thanks for warming your hands up though!


Dear Always Ultra

These aren’t wings, they are barely wing-lets!


Her who is pee’d off!


Dear Self,

Stop being a plum, your smear is overdue,

Not cool,

Get it booked in for as soon as Time Of The Month buggers off.

From, Plumhead


Dear Self

Deciding to get new furniture, and totally rearrange the upstairs of your house with a teething baby, sore boobs and the Time Of The Month on an extended visit…… didn’t really think that through did you?



Dear Husband

Apologies, I suspect I may be being something of a cowbag, it’s the hormones you see.

I love you,

Wife xxxxxxxx

PS Help me rearrange and sort out upstairs (yes I know I said I wanted to do it myself) – it will make me much less snarly, honest 🙂