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Dear Time Of The Month

It’s very kind of you to make sure you visit me every month, without fail. The thing is, and this is getting a bit awkward, you are kind of outstaying your welcome. 11 days a month? Really? For that length of time I’d expect someone to contribute towards the extra food that gets consumed during their stay.

You are becoming a real pain,

Thanks,

Her in agony!

*******

Dear Kieran,

“Mummy, put the Jive Bunny music back on, it ‘s REALLY funny when you dance to it”

I will remember that Son,

Mummy x

*****

Dear Teething Fairy

You were warned last week, pack the hell in tormenting my baby!

Watching you,

Her who hates her son being in pain

*****

Dear Doctor,

Thanks for the full breast exam, I’m glad there was nothing sinister in the end. I feel much reassured

Her with the *now* very sore boobs.

PS Thanks for warming your hands up though!

*****

Dear Always Ultra

These aren’t wings, they are barely wing-lets!

Seriously!

Her who is pee’d off!

********

Dear Self,

Stop being a plum, your smear is overdue,

Not cool,

Get it booked in for as soon as Time Of The Month buggers off.

From, Plumhead

******

Dear Self

Deciding to get new furniture, and totally rearrange the upstairs of your house with a teething baby, sore boobs and the Time Of The Month on an extended visit…… didn’t really think that through did you?

Doh!

***********

Dear Husband

Apologies, I suspect I may be being something of a cowbag, it’s the hormones you see.

I love you,

Wife xxxxxxxx

PS Help me rearrange and sort out upstairs (yes I know I said I wanted to do it myself) – it will make me much less snarly, honest ­čÖé

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