IVF and Adoption, Which is Right For You?

IVF and Adoption, Which is Right For You?

Wanting children is a natural part of growing older for a lot of people. What isn’t, however, is the possibility of needing fertility assistance in order to have children. Although fertility treatments are quite commonly used, that doesn’t mean people naturally know which procedure(s) is right for them. Many ask the question “IVF and Adoption, which is best for us?” and the answer isn’t always straightforward. Much depends on your personal circumstances and where you live.

When trying to get pregnant the first time we had many problems, very hard times and at one point we were told we wouldn’t conceive naturally and I may not be able to successfully carry. While, despite my fertility issue, we managed to conceive two healthy babies eventually, there was a time we thought we might be looking at different options. Many are in the same boat.

If you’re in a position where you need to decide between IVF and adoption, it’s important that you take into consideration the positives and negatives for each. Both options will allow you to have that family you desire, however, they won’t get you there in the same way; this is what leaves people so undecided about what to do. 

IVF and Adoption: Adoption

When it comes to adoption, it’s important to make clear that the likelihood of adopting a baby can be rare depending on where you live. This is because babies are in such high demand. As a result, you’ll need to be open to adopting a child older than what you’d like, e.g. if you wanted a baby, you need to consider the possibility of adopting a toddler instead. For a lot of potential parents, the idea of having anything other than a baby isn’t feasible.

If, however, you’re open to adopting a child of any age, then you need to be aware that adoption isn’t guaranteed. The process is a thorough one, and while many different walks of people are encouraged to try for adoption, not all of them will get through. Although frustrating, the positive to take from this is that you’ll always be told why you failed in your application, thus giving you a chance to rectify it. Nonetheless, with an estimated two year wait for finalising adoption, some people turn to IVF for a quicker outcome. 

IVF and Adoption: IVF

In contrast to adoption, undergoing IVF ensures that you not only have a baby from the start, but that you get to experience the uniqueness of childbearing. For those who want to be involved in every stage of their child’s’ lives, this is by far the better option for them. However, it’s by no means the least stressful, as there are still tests for defects, health issues, and various other hurdles that could interfere along the way. 

As for guarantees, IVF is much like adoption in that it can’t promise you a successful treatment. Your healthcare providers will always do their best, but sometimes it’ll take two or three cycles for treatment to succeed, and even then, sometimes failure still happens. Although it’s a difficult thought to consider, by understanding and preparing for this side of IVF, you can better approach the situation if it does affect you. Hopefully, you won’t have to wait long for success, but you need to be prepared in case you have to.

Having children is wonderful and challenging no matter which route you take. The important part of your decision is to make sure you consider all the information and then go with what’s best for your future family. Make sure that you explore all avenues, including IVF and adoption, but don’t forget that counselling and support plays a large part in starting a family. This is especially true when things don’t go as you’d planned. 

Struggling To Conceive

Struggling To Conceive

Our fertility struggles are not something I post about often. I was told it was unlikely I would be able to conceive naturally, and fertility treatments/IVF weren’t necessarily an option (it’s a postcode thing). I did manage, though it took years of trying for both our boys and the journey was not without our disappointments and heartbreaks. Struggling to conceive is a difficult time for both of you and it is ok to be disappointed, hurt and even jealous of others. It is natural. 

Struggling with conception can be a worrying time. It is worth mentioning that it is not uncommon for people to not fall pregnant immediately. We all hear stories about people who conceive in the first month of trying however it is important to remember that this is rare and not considered the norm, especially for those coming off contraceptive pills etc. Your first port of call after a year of trying or if you have worries would be your GP who can refer you to a specialist if they feel it is necessary.

If you, your partner or you both have a fertility issue, there are a range of options you could look at in order to achieve that much-awaited positive pregnancy test. 

Struggling to Conceive? Consider Your Physical Health

Of course, it would be just plain wrong to suggest that living healthily will instantly solve your problems, but sometimes, it can have a big effect, to the point where it’s worth trying. Get more exercise, more sleep, and eat a highly nutritious diet. There might be a chance that with this effort your chances of fertility could rise. However, over-exercise and being underweight has also been associated (but not fully linked) with lower fertility rates, so be sure you’re remaining careful and truly health-focused in your efforts.

Visit A Fertility Clinic

A fertility clinic directory should help you find the best treatment or assessment to help you figure out your next step. Not only will they take into account your physical requirements, but also your emotional and spiritual needs as a couple. They will be able to analyse your personal situation and offer advice based on your individual needs. Speak to your GP about taking this next step, if it is appropriate to you.

Consider Every Option

IVF treatment, adoption, surrogacy and a range of other potential options are all worth considering. Don’t dismiss these options immediately. It might not seem that these are an ideal solution for you but do the research anyway. Who knows where your fertility journey will take you?

Take Care of Each Other

Your physical health when trying to conceive is important, as is your mental health. Struggling to conceive can cause enormous strain. I, for example, always struggled with guilt. I have the fertility issues and therefore always felt bad for being the “problem”.

It’s not always easy for the men on our lives either. Support often seems to be geared more towards the women (in our experience) however if there are two of you struggling to conceive and both wanting to have a child, two of you feel the same disappointments.  Make sure you are there for each other and look at ways to stay mentally healthy as well as physically. Counselling can go a long way towards helping with this aspect of struggling to conceive.

 

Wherever you are on your journey I wish you all the very best. I’ve not got any “off-the-shelf” platitudes because I’m pretty sure you’ve heard them all before. Be kind to yourselves and keep on asking questions and researching your options.