Dear Time Of The Month
It’s very kind of you to make sure you visit me every month, without fail. The thing is, and this is getting a bit awkward, you are kind of outstaying your welcome. 11 days a month? Really? For that length of time I’d expect someone to contribute towards the extra food that gets consumed during their stay.
You are becoming a real pain,
Thanks,
Her in agony!
*******
Dear Kieran,
“Mummy, put the Jive Bunny music back on, it ‘s REALLY funny when you dance to it”
I will remember that Son,
Mummy x
*****
Dear Teething Fairy
You were warned last week, pack the hell in tormenting my baby!
Watching you,
Her who hates her son being in pain
*****
Dear Doctor,
Thanks for the full breast exam, I’m glad there was nothing sinister in the end. I feel much reassured
Her with the *now* very sore boobs.
PS Thanks for warming your hands up though!
*****
Dear Always Ultra
These aren’t wings, they are barely wing-lets!
Seriously!
Her who is pee’d off!
********
Dear Self,
Stop being a plum, your smear is overdue,
Not cool,
Get it booked in for as soon as Time Of The Month buggers off.
From, Plumhead
******
Dear Self
Deciding to get new furniture, and totally rearrange the upstairs of your house with a teething baby, sore boobs and the Time Of The Month on an extended visit…… didn’t really think that through did you?
Doh!
***********
Dear Husband
Apologies, I suspect I may be being something of a cowbag, it’s the hormones you see.
I love you,
Wife xxxxxxxx
PS Help me rearrange and sort out upstairs (yes I know I said I wanted to do it myself) – it will make me much less snarly, honest 🙂
I think you should just have an off switch for periods when you are done having kids.
Oh yes, absolutely yes. YES YES YES!
Ahem, I agree that would be a very useful thing to have.
Due to reasons beyond my control I haven’t gotten a visitor every month for the last ten years. But I remember those days…oh how I remember.
Do you have one of those heatable pouch thingies (like for a sore neck)? Those are awesome.
Oh yes, mine virtually lives in the microwave! 🙂
oh poor you 🙁 hope Aunty Flo b*ggers off soon. You have reminded me I am due a smear test too, so thanks! *picks up phone to call doctors*
LOL that’s so funny and yet so familiar (well when I have mine – not back yet but probaly won’t be long!) hate periods! Period 🙂 xx