They are our kids, we aren't idiots…LEAVE US ALONE!

It’s not often I use shouty capitals but I’m feeling shouty about this issue.

No doubt if you are a blog reader, or a newspaper reader or well breathing.. this week you’ll have heard about the whole breastfeeding/weaning carry on. I haven’t read it. I heard there was an issue, I believe it has something to do with a study about breastfeeding exclusively for six months being bad, early weaning good? If I’m wrong I apologise but I have purposely avoided reading about it because to be honest,  people’s attitudes to emotive subjects like this annoy me. Don’t get me wrong – I am all for free speech, completely understand and respect the fact that different people will have different opinions to things, and whether I agree with them or not is besides the point. What I do dislike is that when there is any kind of uproar about a parenting issue, people get on their high horses and start telling other people that what they do or have done is wrong. Their opinion isn’t asked for. They are most often not professionals in health or social care, and to be honest, can be quite rude!

I have had many blunt and sometime downright bloody mean comments thrown my way since I fell pregnant with my first son and I really do wish that people would think before opening their mouths. I don’t like my decisions being criticised, especially when opinions aren’t sought, so I’m damn sure that other people don’t deserve that from me.

I get sick of justifying myself, and too often I have seen Mums and Dads almost apologising for choices they’ve made and it’s unfair.

So now I don’t apologise for my decisions!

  • Yes- I bottle fed Kieran and have bottle fed Taylor from birth – this was by choice. I am certainly not anti-breastfeeding but it was a decision my husband and I made and we are happy with it.
  • Yes I use disposable nappies – I am aware of the environmental issues surround this, yet I still get my Huggies with the weekly shop.
  • No, I do not now and haven’t in the past demand fed, my choice and it has worked well for us. End of story on that one.
  • Yes I decided to go back to work after Kieran was born, and yes I was aware that I was planning on letting someone else “raise” my child all day.
  • Yes I changed my mind and decided to stay at home and not return to work, and yes I am aware that this then meant I wasn’t giving my children the best start financially or teaching them a proper work ethic (have to say on this one… poo! I work ten times harder working from home AND being Mummy than I ever did in my previous demanding job!).

These are just some of the things I heard myself having to apologise about in the past, particularly as a first time Mum. Now – well gawd help anyone who tried – but how sad, and awful that people felt the need to comment so negatively on my decisions.

Parenting is the most difficult job you will ever have. There is no manual, you aren’t taken aside for special classes at school on how to raise children the “right” way and I’m pretty sure antenatal classes don’t get close to covering the choices that we will have to make between now and when our kids turn 18, so finding the way can be a rollercoaster but one worth queueing for!

So please, neighbours, other parents, fellow shoppers in tescos, politicians… let us raise our kids without your prejudices.

Is it just me who gets really mad with this?


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  1. I hate it. We’re all so different of course we’re going to parent differently. It really irks me when other mothers query or condemn my choices, I love discussing parenting and talking about what we have done and why, but when it becomes judgemental, its just horrid. And unnecessary.

  2. One thing i’ve learnt as a parent is to filter…it starts when you’re pregnant, i remember choosing a home birth with my first(didn’t happen but that’s another story)and was shocked at the criticism i got. My filter works like this, listen, nod, if i like the advice i may try it, if not it goes in the filter bin. People are amazing in their belief if you don’t do things their way you’re wrong and they have the right to judge you and work to make you change. One size doesn’t fit all…do what’s best for you and your family to keep you all happy and healthy.

  3. As both a Mother and Grandmother I can appreciate your frustration and I can tell you that nothing changes! As to the breast feeding debate I have never understood the logic of not giving ALL babies solids until 6 months this just doesn’t acknowledge individuality at all. Some babies are naturally tiny and others are large. I have certainly seen Mothers on the point of complete exhaustion , frustration and despair trying to keep a very hungry baby satisfied on breast milk alone. My advice would be to listen to your baby they will soon let you know when they are unsatisfied.

    1. Thanks Linda. It is frustrating isn’t it. Personally I think that some people spend too much time analysing other people’s lives and not enough time looking at their own. Each to their own.

  4. I feel exactly the same. I’m fed up of explaining myself, especially 2 those without children and therefore without a clue! I bottlefed… so what. I have a nursery and childminder… so what. And guess what… I have 2 very bright, very happy children who know they are loved and never judge me! When nathan was walking at 10 mnths and Kimberley was sitting at 4 months… no one asked if that was down 2 breast feeding or being a stay at home mum. Rant over lol x

    1. A fab mum 🙂
      I can’t decide whether I find it very sad that people feel it necessary to judge, and worse comment – or whether it just pisses me off. Probably the latter to be honest.

  5. It’s worth reading about the research. There were no new studies done, these findings come after a review of existing research. Three of the four authors have previously worked for baby food companies as consultants or researchers.

    As for how you bring up your children, well that’s your business. Our families are all different, and what works for one won’t work for another.

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