Dear Ebay Twonk
You have mistyped your mobile number and I am getting calls about the scooter I have for sale.
Some call twice to prove that THEY didn’t dial incorrectly the first time (thoughtful of them).
Please remedy immediately because if I have to repeat “Yes I’m sure I don’t have a scooter for sale” one more time I may forget that I am a lady.
Regards Her who is trying to work and is fed up of answering questions about a scooter (Dammit!).
Dear Shoppers (and C64 fans)
10 Print “Being first to the reduced counter does not make everything yours”
20 Goto 10 PRINT
Love the inner geek who will not be thwarted at the reduced to clear section.
Dear Self This house is not going to pack itself.
“I’m watching old episodes of Dallas”
“I think I have a splinter” and
“It is bad luck to pack prior to the week before moving” are NOT valid excuses to leave everything to the last minute.
Love, her who really does enjoy packing, deep, deep, deep down inside.
If I did bare my chest at you when you tooted your horn, stuck your head out of the window and yelled.. “Show me your tits!”, well you would be rendered blind so be thankful I just ignored you.
PS I’m pretty sure your Mum drops your youngest sibling at the same school my son goes to.
I really must pop and say hello to her.
Reading “Error” every time I step on even though I have replaced your batteries is not funny and is not clever.
Just so you know.
Her who ate all the pies, cakes,biscuits, crisps, bread rolls, yogurts…….. Dear Readers Have a great weekend and try and stay out of trouble! Love her who will be watching Dallas with a splinter in her finger
On Tuesday it will be my birthday and I will be entering a whole new decade age-wise (yes people I will be twenty *cough*). In honour of this occasion I was sent out with my youngest sister along with my folks to shop until I dropped. It was quite an experience (I wasn’t confused as being my sister’s mother this time though which was a bonus) and we laughed like mini hyenas for the most of the day.
Setting out for pre-birthday shopping I imagined some spiky high heels, bling, a completely unpractical top and what not hitting my basket. Instead the bulk of my purchases included a gilet from BHS, some special jeans from SimplyBe that hide many sins and of course some kick arse waist-high control pants. I have to give special mention to the control pants. They were from Primark (the only thing in there that fits me other than the gloves), cost £5 each and I’m not convinced that they weren’t designed by NASA. Fabulous tummy-sucky-in things.
So there you go, no sparkly heels, no bling (saying that I did get a lovely early present from Lauren, my youngest sister which were some gorgeous silver earrings), and no flashy tops. I am greeting my next shiny new decade with a lifted bum, sucked in tummy, a comfy gilet and can’t wait!
|photo by starfire||via PhotoRee|
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