Mrs Bellers from the blog The Big Test of Life describes herself as a new wife and new mum at 24, coming to terms with various disabilities. Her blog is a record of day to day life, and past memories that she thinks will make others smile as well as various other ramblings! This is a new blog and new writer to me but I’m very glad I found her! You can find Emma on Twitter @Mrsbellers so why not say hello! Nicki x
I was on the phone to my Mum today, another one of our marathon conversations. As we were talking she asked if I thought that our unluckiness was genetic. I started to laugh. I honestly thought she was joking! Turns out she was deadly serious! Luckily she was laughing about it and not upset.
However, when she got off the phone, it got me thinking. Is it genetic? Is it something we did in a past life that determines it? Or is it all just a big test? I’m beginning to go with its all a big test thus how my blogs name came about.
Now the reason my Mum was talking about being unlucky is because the last few years haven’t been that kind to us, this year in particular.
My mum recently bought a house. Long story short she has found out from a simple tile cracking, that the whole of the extension on the house that she brought needs to come down. Electric certificates were given fraudulently. Along with a lot of other cowboys in the story. So Mum in my eyes who’s always been a bit of a rebel without a cause has turned in to the latest Erin Brockovich. It’s not the first time either. I suppose that’s something I get from her. STUBBORNNESS!!
So on to me and my family. There’s me E, my darling husband D and my beautiful little girl H. Now towards the end of my pregnancy things started to go down hill.. I had, had SPD from the very beginning. Leaving me bed bound towards the end and unable to walk.
During labour they did everything that they shouldn’t to aggravate the condition. I was convinced there was something wrong with my back after having H though. I could barely walk, got sciatica on and off. My GP was dismissive telling me to wait until my consultant appointment with my Rheumatologist.
You see I suffer from psoriasis and psoratic arthritis. So off I trot to the hospital where I get an emergency MRI, within one week, a week after I got the results. If I’m being honest I have gotten so used to being told as a child that there’s nothing wrong with me its all in my head (it wasn’t i had to have my bowel stapled as it kept twisting) I thought there was nothing wrong and I was being a wuss.
Nope, nope, I have disc disease causing a bulging disc in my spine. OK I can deal with that. Then the bomb shell, we believe you have avascular necrosis of the hip. You may need a hip replacement. WOW. 24 and facing a HIP REPLACEMENT?! Basically the bones in my hip have started to die.
So I then trot to the psoriasis nurse hoping to get some treatment for my skin and joints. I am approved pending blood results. Said results come back, liver count is high. Have I had stomach ache, why yes just thought it was everything settling down after having H. One ultrasound later I come out with more bad news gallstones, and no treatment until my gallbladder is out!
In between all of this even though H is thriving she has failed 3 at home hearing tests in her left ear. So off to the hospital for us. To be told she is deaf in one ear, completely. To then be told that we have to have a CT scan as they believe that her ears weren’t formed properly and if this is the case, a simple knock to the head could send her deaf. A knock to the head? I felt like I had been punched in the chest.
I sat back and thought no-one, no-one on this world will possibly believe that one person can be having such crap luck. But hang on a minute. Its not just me its hubby to. And no do you know what I don’t think I am that unlucky. He has stood by me.
He doesn’t complain when I am in pain and cranky and shout and get moody. He doesn’t complain that all the housework falls down to him. He doesn’t complain that he has to do pretty much EVERYTHING for me and H.
I met him 3 months later engaged, 10 months after meeting married, and I got married 6 weeks pregnant and it was planned. It is my fairy tale. And life is what you make it you just have to roll with the punches.
Best way to deal with it HUMOUR. When I got my granny frame, as I so fondly call it, my mum said she would get me some tinsel at Christmas to jazz it up. My friend is going to crochet me some flowers to stick on it. I’m gonna get some ribbon and hang some signs on it.
Do you know what bring it on. It doesn’t matter anymore. I have what I want and what I need right here. I have the most beautiful and clever little girl. I have an almost perfect husband apart from when he wakes me up at 7am in the morning sleeptalking (it’s his reaction to stress. That and sleepwalking into the spare room thinking it’s the bathroom!). You read more about all of that on my blog!
Guys its not your past that makes you but how you deal with it. Roll with the punches, you will come out the other side. Always remember no matter how tough it is.. there is a light at the end of that tunnel, sometimes its just a little lighter than others.